Girl On A Mission

A Day of Thanks

2011-11-24T08:03:00.001-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Today is a day to give thanks for all that you have and all that you want. I am so grateful for the many experiences this year that have led me to this place of pure gratitude. It's been a challenging year to say the least but so many amazing and beautiful things have come from the bumps in the road. Thank YOU! I have never felt more blessed than I do today.

A quick reminder to all: If you're going to participate in Black Friday or any holiday shopping at all this year, BUY AMERICAN. We need to help the American economy badly so PLEASE check the origin of the products you are purchasing before buying. TEAM USA!

XOXO,

Muzikgirl

Another Encounter With The Fray

2011-11-06T08:29:00.000-08:00

Star 101.3 FM Red Carpet

The Fray in the Bleu Room at the Showroom SF

The Fray at Alice Radio's private show in the Infusion Lounge San Francisco

The Fray at the Infusion Lounge San Francisco
Courtesy of Alice Radio Promotions

Live Music!!!

2011-10-13T15:50:00.000-07:00

I've been lucky enough to see a few shows this year including Howie Day, Switchfoot (one of my absolute favorites) and Enrique Iglesias.

The Fray @ The Fillmore SF
5/27/11

Howie Day @ Cafe du Nord SF

9/15/11

Enrique Iglesias @ HP Pavilion

10/7/11

Switchfoot @ The Warfield SF

10/10/11

Sadly for me there's nobody exciting performing here over the next few months so I'll be laying low again. I am, however, looking forward to the new Coldplay album Mylo Xyloto due out on October 24 and The Fray's record entitled Scars & Stories which isn't available until February 2012. You can listen to the 1st single off the album, "Heartbeat," available at iTunes now. It's another gorgeous song from the melodic band. I am anxiously awaiting "Scars & Stories," especially eager to finally hear the song that exemplifies my life, "The Fighter."

Speaking of songs that exemplify my life, the track "Thrive" on the new Switchfoot record Vice Verses is a scary parallel to my life over the last six months. A beautiful story of a person who doesn't recognize himself in the mirror, surviving life but wanting to "live" life. It's a must-hear so check it out.

Happy listening!

Muzikgirl

Very Funny Comedian

2011-09-14T14:36:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've blogged. Lots going on in my life. I do want to share with you a very funny comedian I recently discovered after my father emailed me a video of him. His name is Dan Nainan and he made me laugh so hard I almost peed my pants. This is one I know you'll love! Check it out below:

Thank God for laughter!

XOXO

Muzikgirl

Life Lessons

2011-08-09T16:27:00.000-07:00

Love: Whether it's between friends, family members, or a man and a woman, love can be complex - but it doesn't have to be! Love is wanting to be together, having mutual respect for each other, and having fun. Love is a beautiful and magical feeling.

Forgiveness: I believe we must forgive whenever possible, but sometimes there are certain things or people we cannot forgive, no matter how hard we try. This is when we must give it to God, for God is greater than we are and can take care of whatever we can't.

Releasing guilt: Guilt is a spiritual killer. The only place guilt has in your life is if you did something to another person with malice - for example, intentionally harming someone. Otherwise, guilt is a useless exercise that destroys spiritual growth.

Strength: Strength is nothing more than enduring life - to be able to survive the heartaches and agonies we go through with our heads held high. Sometimes just walking through adversity to get to the other side is a sign of strength.

My E-mail Contact

2011-06-11T14:53:00.000-07:00

I've decided to publish my email address here. Feel free to contact me with any feedback, comments or simply to say hello. I love hearing from you all and appreciate all your kind words about my blog. I'm also considering starting a Facebook page to keep in touch there as well. Tell me what you think.

Looking forward to hearing from you!

Cheers,

Muzikgirl

muzikgirlonamission @ gmail dot com (formatted this way so all the spammer don't pick up my email address & start pounding me with junk mail - you can figure out what it really is.)

In This Woman

2011-05-24T11:08:00.000-07:00

In this woman is the heart of a child

The loss of a little girl without a home

Don’t know who to trust or how to love

Knowing I’ve been hurt before

And wanting to believe in you even more

Something’s missing deep inside

But I’m finding my way back

To the woman I want to be

Discovering who I am as you reflect it back to me

And hoping you’ll remain to see

Change takes time and trust

Patience breeds love

Crossing my path at the exact time

Giving me courage to keep moving ahead

Showing me how you live instead

Born of different places

Neither knowing of trust

Believing the bond will withstand pain

That which I have caused you

Deep here in my heart of truth

Hole in My Heart

2011-05-17T08:53:00.000-07:00

Missing my best friend but knowing that I did the right thing by handing it over to God so that He could lead me to where I need to be. There's an emptiness that comes with losing someone dear to your heart. I'm feeling that gaping hole in my life as I forge ahead without him. And everyday I continue to pray that he finds his happiness. XOXO

God, if I forget you, please do not forget me.

2011-05-13T14:34:00.000-07:00

I wanted to take a moment to share with you these beautiful words from Gandhi. It is a small reminder to love and forgive others but most importantly, forgive yourself for we are only human. And no matter what, never forget that God is there with you...

God, help me to tell the truth to the strong and to avoid telling lies to get the weak’s applause. If you give me fortune, do not take away my reason. If you give me success, do not take away my humility. If you give me humility, do not take away my dignity. God, help me to see the other side of the medal. Don’t let me blame others of treason just because they don’t like me. God, teach me to love people as I love myself and to judge me as I judge others. Please, don’t let me be proud if I succeed, or fall in despair if I fail. Remind me that failure is the experience that precedes triumph. Teach me that forgiving is the most important in the strong and that revenge is the most primitive sign in the weak. If you take away my success, let me keep my strength to succeed from failure. If I fail people, give me courage to apologize and if people fail me, give me the courage to forgive them. God, if I forget you, please do not forget me.

-Mahatma Gandhi

When Life Changes You

2011-05-08T18:40:00.001-07:00

I was working at a semiconductor company in the Bay Area when I was contacted by a recruiter for another high-tech company. After several rounds of interviews I received an official offer letter that left me feeling as if there was potential growth within the company so I couldn't pass it up. I started within the week. Little did I know the real reason I would find myself at this new job had nothing to do with my career path.

I'd spent my entire life dating Hispanic men. I’m full-blooded Italian and didn’t know much about dating other cultures. I had no idea that my life was about to change so drastically.

I was at a peaceful place in my life. I had worked through so much of my past that I could honestly say I had no hang-ups on any former boyfriends. I've always used one relationship to get over another so it was a first for me to find myself not pining away for someone.

I remember the day I met him. I was introduced to him along with so many others that I didn't remember his name. He was Asian, a culture I didn't have much experience with (certainly not in the relationship department), one I’d never had an attraction to other than the food. I’d see him walking through the hallway or from across the building and he would always very eagerly say hello to me. I eventually pointed him out to a coworker to find out his name.

My first real communication with him happened while that same coworker and I were working on a team building event. We were compiling team rosters by having each person draw numbers from a bag and placing their name next to randomly written numbers to form the teams. As he was drawing his number he asked if I was going to the event. I had recently re-injured my tailbone over the weekend when my nephew jokingly pulled a chair from underneath me and I was in such severe pain that I backed out of attendance. He seemed disappointed.

One day while he was talking to an employee at her cubicle he cut her off to ask me what I had done over the weekend. I could tell this guy was attracted to me but I was only interested in being friends. That same day on the walk to my car in the parking garage, he came speeding around the corner in his fancy sports car and stopped abruptly when he saw me. We chatted and he asked me to go to lunch sometime. I brushed him off by agreeing but not really intending to follow up and then waved goodbye.

I don't know what got into me the next morning but I shot off an email asking him if he'd like to go to lunch that day. He replied yes almost instantly. I usually ate at noon but he was in a meeting that was running late so he messaged me a little after 1:00pm that he was ready to go. I was starving!

We met at the elevators and walked to the garage together. I don't know why I was so nervous since I wasn't interested in him but I felt shaky and had sweaty palms. Conversation was easy as the chatter flowed. We went to an Asian fusion restaurant that we both liked and we ordered a couple of things to share which I had never done with a man before. Maybe it was because I knew he was attracted to me but I felt like I was on a date. He even paid for me being the gentleman that he is. We talked about relationships because that's where he wanted the conversation to go. He said he was in a three-month relationship but that it wasn't working. I barely ate my food out of pure nervousness; again not sure as to why I was feeling so scared. We really seemed to enjoy each other's company.

The next day he invited me to meet up with him for drinks to celebrate a job acceptance of our coworker at another company. I wasn't invited by the person hosting the party and I didn’t really know anyone so I accepted with trepidation. I followed him over in my car as I knew I wouldn’t be staying long. I can still see the looks of shock on our coworkers’ faces as we walked in together. I ordered a glass of white wine and sat down on a big chair. He sat next to me and put his arm around me on the back of the chair which made me uncomfortable. I spent an hour chatting with everyone and then said my goodbyes. He walked me to my car and hugged me goodbye. It was the first time we had any physical contact and it was awkward being that I still had no attraction to him.

That night is when his text messaging began. He sent me messages all weekend which indicated to me that he was thinking of me as much more than a friend. Sunday evening I finally gave in and agreed to meet him at the mall for coffee. When I arrived he convinced me to see a movie which was completely out of character for me when I had to work the next day. I was already starting to change and I didn’t even realize it.

That Thursday a bunch of us decided to meet up for drinks after work. I went over with a couple of female coworkers. When we arrived he was already there with some of the guys. I immediately made my way over to him and sat down next to him feeling anxious. As usual, I ordered a glass of wine and some food. I was so nervous I kept knocking things over. For some reason, everyone was pressuring me to take a shot. I rarely drink hard liquor and I never take shots so I knew it wouldn’t end well but I accepted the dare. I could instantly feel the effects on my stomach and my head. People started to dwindle, leaving me behind with him and two of the guys. He said he was going home. I was uncomfortable staying with the others so I jumped up at the same time even though I knew I couldn’t drive yet. We stepped outside the bar and sat on a bench where I leaned over to catch my breath. He put his hand in my hair and down my back to comfort me. We sat for a while and then walked to my car where we sat inside for a long time until I sobered up. He put his hand on my knee which scared me and excited me at the same time. I was fighting the chemistry. Before we left that night, I agreed to meet him for breakfast the next morning because I was calling in sick to work anyway.

Friday morning I awoke a little hung over but excited to have breakfast with this guy I wasn’t yet willing to admit I had an attraction to. I had never realized how much race was an issue for me until I met him. Spending so much time with him was bringing up all my issues. When I was with him all I saw were his Asian eyes but I knew that I liked him and was having a great time with him so I continued on, holding my secret inside.

We met at a restaurant between our homes. Ironically, he lived only a few miles from me so this spending time together was very convenient. I pulled into the parking lot and into the space next to him. He was sitting in his car. He got out and hugged me hello and we went inside. As we waited for a table, kids were everywhere screaming. We looked at each other with a mutual understanding and immediately jumped up to leave. We took his car and drove to another restaurant he liked to eat breakfast at. Our time together was so enjoyable. We didn’t stop laughing. He decided to call in sick as well so we could go the movies. This would eventually become a joke with his boss who would tease him that when I would call in sick, so would he.

We found a theater nearby and agreed on a movie we’d both wanted to see. Throughout the movie he put his hand on my knee or touched my leg or hand. My heart fluttered. I didn’t want to admit that I liked it but I did. It gave me comfort and made me anxious in a good way. I spent those two hours sitting next to him hoping he wouldn’t take his hand off of me.

After a few weeks of spending four to five nights a week together having dinner and drinks, I realized I was dating this guy. My friends and family inquired as to who I was spending so much time with. I could see the curiosity in their eyes as I would say, “Oh, just having drinks with a coworker” or I would flat out lie about who I was with. My mother was aware that I would sometimes spend time with a coworker. She asked if I was interested in him and I responded, “Don’t worry Mom. He’s just a friend. He’s Asian,” because she knew I only dated Latin men. One day I was chatting on the phone with my girl friend when she asked me what was going on with him. When I said we were just friends her response was, “Whatever you say but I can see this is going somewhere.” I was scared out of my mind that people would find out when I wasn’t even prepared to admit it to myself.

We would see each other in the hallway at work and my heart would start beating really fast. His face would light up. He once told me that he was in a meeting in our boss’ office when he heard my voice and became distracted waiting for me to walk by. I would stop by his cubicle to say hello and chat for a few minutes but I was paranoid that people would suspect something (and be right about their suspicions) so I wouldn’t stay for long. We were often together outside of work but I still wasn’t letting him get too close to me. He would occasionally put his arm around me to walk to or from the car. One time a colleague at another company ran into us at a bar where we were having drinks. My guy’s arm was around me when we met eyes with the guy. It was obvious to him that something was happening between us. Another night when we had gone out for drinks he walked me to my car, slipped his hands into mine and looked at me like he was going to kiss me. I abruptly pulled away and said, “Don’t!” I don’t know how or why he stuck around and pursued me but he was so patient with me. Instead I wrapped my arms around him and gave him a long hug. He said, “Thank you for that. It was nice.”

He was insecure about my past relationships with Latin men and regularly made comments about it. The biggest running joke he came up with was that I “went from George Lopez to Jackie Chan.” His constant banter about race didn’t help me to get over my own fears; it actually made them worse. I was still keeping this big secret locked away deep inside and it was beginning to eat away at me.

Finally I was starting to admit to myself that I was carrying a torch for this man who had interrupted my plans and infected my thoughts. He asked me one day if I had plans to get married or have children. I had spent so much time convincing myself that I wanted none of that but I didn’t want him to walk away due to my uncertainty so I told him, “If it happens it’ll be OK with me.” I think I was really trying to convince myself that day. Little did I know that soon enough I would be imagining a future and a family with this man. He had such potential to be a great husband and father. He was patient, kind and loving. He was generous, smart, funny and a good listener. He was exceptionally close to his mother and sister which made me like him even more. He’s successful in his career and carries himself with such confidence at work. To this day I don’t believe he knows his own potential but I do.

The day I finally allowed him into my heart is one I will never forget. We planned to have dinner at a nice restaurant at a hotel in a small town a few miles away. I knew that this was the day our relationship would change, grow into something more. The food was exceptional but the dinner itself was nothing unusual for us. When we were finished eating we walked inside the hotel and sat down on a couch in the lobby. I sat close to him. I knew exactly what I was doing. He put his hand on my leg for a moment as we talked. I touched his leg then pulled away. I rested my hand on his thigh again but this time I left it there. I laid my head on his shoulder and he cuddled with me. I knew the moment was right so I lifted my head to look him in the eye and put my lips on his. We shared a sweet and tender first kiss. I liked his lips. They were full and warm. He was a good kisser which surprised me. I don’t know why I had created so many misperceptions about his race but he was defying all of them.

He drove me back to my car but instead of saying goodbye we remained in his car sharing passionate kisses. I was surprised at how much chemistry we shared. We must have stayed there kissing and touching for two hours. That night I barely slept. I knew I had fallen hard.

The next couple of months were spent mostly together. We eventually gave into our whims and I couldn’t have been more pleasantly surprised by him. We continued spending all our spare time together. At work he would meet me at my car almost everyday to give me a hug and a kiss goodbye even though we’d be seeing each other in a few hours. He made me feel desired, sexy and alive. I couldn’t get enough of him. I was finally starting to get past the race issue. One day when we were walking through the mall with our arms around each other a Caucasian kid no more than 18 years old walked by, blatantly looked us up and down and said sarcastically, “Right on.” It was our first racist comment. It was the only time I ever let it bother me. After that I could have cared less what anyone thought because I knew I was falling in love with this guy.

We shared movies, dinners, drinks and intimate talks. He called or texted all the time. His attention was always on me. I thrived off of it. He asked me to attend his best friend’s birthday party at a night club in San Francisco. This seemed really important to him, like it was a big deal for him to invite me. He booked a hotel room and made dinner reservations. I had a new, sexy, black lace cocktail dress I planned to wear. The night before, I didn’t sleep very well. When I met him at his house in the afternoon I had a migraine that was hurting so bad the sun was blinding. We stopped to get gas and coffee and drove to the city. The hotel was beautiful and I felt special to be there with him. As soon as we arrived, we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. He had to call the restaurant to change our reservation time.

Dinner was delicious as always. He had a taste for fine foods which never failed. After dinner we drove to the club. The music was blaring, making my headache worse. He introduced me to his best friend and I wished her a happy birthday. Everyone there had had a lot to drink, especially the birthday girl, and they were all having a grand time. I felt like I was ruining the party. We spent most of the night hanging out in a corner talking and cuddling. His friend came over and pulled him out onto the dance floor. Of course he dragged me with him but I pulled back because I still wasn’t feeling well. He quickly came back over to me, eventually deciding it was time to go.

We had a very special evening sharing quality time together. We talked late into the night. In the morning he ordered room service and we sat on the bed eating and talking. That weekend away marked a defining moment in our relationship.

Three months into the relationship I felt him pulling away. I confronted him which pushed him even further away. He broke up with me, giving me some made-up excuse of possibly going back to the country he was from. I didn’t believe it for a second. I knew he was just scared of what he was feeling for me. I was heartbroken. I spent hours at his house talking and crying to him. It was the first time I told him that I was falling in love with him. He was dumping me and I was telling him that I loved him. He comforted me, held me, rubbed my back, kissed me and you can imagine what else. Then we went to dinner. Who does this? I left his house that night devastated. Who knew that I could fall so fast, so hard with someone I had nothing in common with and wasn’t even attracted to initially? I sent him a text message telling him that my heart was in pieces. He responded with an apology and told me he loved me too.

Within a few days of our breakup he began sending text messages telling me his missed me. We fell right back into our pattern of dinners and spending regular time together. The breakup brought us closer together. Eventually we found ourselves right back in the same situation. When we were together everything was amazing. We never argued. We always laughed and shared our lives. We were perfect together. I supported his career, his promotion and other significant events occurring in his life and in exchange he supported my health concern, job loss and so many other important moments. But it always came back to him pulling away from me. I was scared and confused. We had bonded so closely and I visualized myself sharing a life with him. Each time a break up occurred it was worse than the time before. It devastated me and it would take me time to catch my breath.

It was the most amazing seven months of my life until it happened again. He tells me that it’s his fault, that he always makes me sad. I don’t understand how he can run from something so beautiful. His fear is our only problem. I honestly see a scared little boy in a man’s body. It makes me sad that he will let his fear ruin our relationship, our love.

This man broke down so many of my barriers about race, love and intimacy. He affected my life profoundly and changed me in ways I didn’t understand were possible. I went from seeing an Asian man in front of me to loving a man who happened to be Asian. I know that God put him in my path for a very important reason. Even now I don’t feel as if it’s over. Maybe God is just giving us a break to gather our thoughts. And if it’s not in God’s plans for us to be in each other’s lives, I will do my best to accept it and walk away. It’s in His hands now and I thank Him for giving me this time with the man who captured my heart.

A Call from the Dr. Oz Show

2011-01-26T14:36:00.000-08:00

It's been quite a while since I've taken the time to sit down and write for my blog. The last months have been a mix of happy and sad, highs and lows, ups and downs... so many events have occurred in my life that have taken me through the complete array of emotions. But today I have something fun to share.

A couple of weeks ago I was watching one of my favorites, "The Dr. Oz Show." World-renowned motivational speaker, spiritual healer and author Deepak Chopra was featured on this episode to teach people alternative forms of healing. This man is so motivating and inspirational that his words shot through me and I woke up to listen. At the end of the show Dr. Oz mentioned a special contest they were having which viewers could enter on the website. The winner would be flown to San Diego, California for a weekend at the famous La Costa Resort and Spa in Carlsbad and would get to attend a seminar by Mr. Chopra himself. I found myself plugging in all my personal information and writing up a little synapses of why Mr. Chopra motivates me and then I hit the submit button without thinking about it again.

Last week I was out eating pho (Vietnamese noodle soup) for lunch with my mother when my phone started ringing. I looked down to see that the call was coming from a 212 area code - New York City! Everyone I know from NYC is already plugged into my address book so I wasn't sure who the call was coming from. I let it go to voicemail. As soon as the voicemail notification buzzed I listened. It was a producer from the Dr. Oz Show telling me that she had a unique opportunity for women from San Jose to be on the show. I immediately called her back and she informed me that they were looking for women who were willing to test the water in their homes and who would be interested in appearing on the show. So today, one week later, I received my water test kit via FedEx and am awaiting another delivery of the video camera I'll use to record myself getting the samples tomorrow morning. As soon as the samples are taken I have to drive the package over to a FedEx drop off to be shipped back to the testing center for immediate processing. I should know within a week whether or not I'll be on the show.

The really cool and ironic thing about this whole experience is that meeting Dr. Mehmet Oz is on my bucket list of things to do before I die. This man has motivated in more ways than I ever expected. He's the reason I lost 23 pounds when I moved back home and because of that I was able to get my life and health together again.

More to come in the next week!

New Photo Shoot

2010-11-30T14:13:00.000-08:00

New photos taken in Raleigh by Melissa Hayes of Double Exposure Photography

Tough Times

2010-08-25T09:46:00.000-07:00

Ever have such a tough time that you feel like you're losing your way? This last week has been exactly that for me. I actually feel as though the path has disappeared from in front of me. Time to look internally again.

The Woman in Me

2010-06-02T20:58:00.000-07:00

Who am I really? That's the question that digs deep into my soul on a daily basis. Why do I exist in this big world?

In packing it in and moving back into my parents' house over a year ago, I was forced to eliminate 30% of my possessions and store the remaining 70%, divvied up between my old bedroom and the garage. I haven't been able to sleep in my own bed or use my own dresser since then. All I have are my clothes, my computer and a few other small items. As the months have passed and I've continued to work on myself on the inside, I've been learning how not to associate myself, my inner being, with material things. "Things" are what tend to define us as a society. We are so focused on our cell phones, computers, TVs, iPods, clothes, cars and sadly, our profiles on social networking sites, that we forget what matters most - nurturing our souls. I made a conscious decision to separate myself from as many of the above intruders as I possibly could. I call them intruders because they "intrude" on our lives by providing us something external to focus on rather than to look ourselves in the mirror and face our own imperfections. I mean really, who wants to face their demons? The social networking sites like Facebook impede on our intimate relationships with a false sense of communication. We accumulate these foreign objects over time as our badge of honor. These "things" represent who we are by reflecting a false image to others of the type of person we are. But are “we” really that person that we’ve created?

For me, the "separation process” began over two years ago after reading Eckhart Tolle's "A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose." I hadn't yet made the decision to move out of the fast-paced city of Los Angeles, where I became sort of a wild child in comparison to my past. I knew that the girl I was when I moved down to LA no longer existed. I understood that I was changing, slowly peeling the layers off to uncover the true me. I read self-help books, listened to "A New Earth" podcasts in order to speed up this process of discovery and I talked to my friends openly about the changes I felt taking place. What I quickly discovered is that I was going through this all alone. My "friends" couldn't understand this major evolution I was enduring. This wasn't an experience to be shared with others because they couldn't help me to define the real me. What they knew was the girl on the outside, the one I showed to them over time with my clothes, musical tastes, the company I kept and the places I liked to go. In realizing how little they actually knew about me, it pushed me harder to get to know myself. How could these people know the real me and love me if I didn't know myself?

What I discovered is that as I was changing. My view of these people I called "friends" was also changing. I didn’t want to be around people who represented this facade of a life I was living. I could no longer see myself spending my time with people who weren't also on a spiritual journey and wanting to grow, rather than staying in the same place emotionally for the next 20 years. This wasn't an overnight process. I didn't wake up one day and say to myself, "Hey, I think today's the day you're going to find the true you and leave all your friends behind." No, that’s not the way it works. This is a journey I'm still taking and hope to always remain on. Unfortunately, my "friends" haven't been as understanding as I'd hoped. Instead, many of them have taken it personally. I've tried my best to handle it with grace but in the end, they just couldn't grasp where I was coming from and have decided it wasn't worth it to keep me in their lives at all if the relationship couldn't remain the same.

Coming back home, I've eliminated items such as clothes that either didn't fit or were out of style, books, CDs, old bank and credit card statements, and other "junk," which in turn, has led me to the non-material things like old emails that I was saving in my inbox, along with other documents on my computer that had no real value or meaning and didn't need to be held onto.

I've done my best to be less dependent upon the computer or phone to communicate with loved ones. Of course, sometimes it's the only way to reach out to the ones you love who live far away. But I don't want to be a slave to technology anymore. I want to live in the moment, focus on the people that are standing right in front of me and giving me the love in return that I know I deserve. I'm less interested in allowing Facebook to consume hours of my time with updating my status and playing virtual games. I do still send the occasional message or write on a friend's wall to say hello and let them know I'm thinking about them but I don't use this as my main form of communication.

And speaking of technology, have you noticed how much "crap" is on television these days? My shows have dwindled down to a handful as I've grown further and further away from the uselessness of "reality" TV, which is really not "reality" after all. People believe this stuff is real life. While the contestants are real people from all walks of life, they do have a script to follow that guides them in the direction that producers want a show to go in. This is NOT reality people! The quality of programming currently on TV is so bad that I can't bring myself to watch, save for a few shows I've been watching for years like Desperate Housewives or The Oprah Winfrey Show. Even those shows have lost my attention with their lack of interesting topics. What the average person doesn’t understand is that television shows are not made for the simple fact that the audience might enjoy them. The reason producers strive for their show to be a hit is so they can sell advertising time and make a buck. It doesn't matter if the show is of good quality or not. It just matters that it's entertaining to the masses so the masses will watch. Well, I don’t want to be a part of the masses anymore, not that anyone thought that I ever really did.

Life changes. We change. We grow up. At least I hope we do. We came into this world in a natural state of happiness. As life happens and we begin to identify ourselves with material things, our physical bodies and labels such as nationality, gender or our roles in life, we become weighted down and lose our sense of true self. We forget who we are as the chaos of life takes over. In order to find that happiness again, we must get back to our natural state by releasing the labels and becoming more of who we were born to be.

I'm uncertain if this metamorphosis I'm going through is due to age or simply a want for something more meaningful in my life. Those who know me know that I'm not your average person. I never have been. I feel "stuck" when I'm in one place too long, like I'm not learning anything new. I have that itch to travel again, to explore and see new places or even ones I've already been to. I just want to go! Recently it was suggested to me that I become an intern for an Asian spin-off of a major network television show. Ironically, it’s a reality show. Why would I do that when I've already graduated college and should be in the midst of my career? The more I think about it, the more I want to take this adventure and run with it. I've always wanted to see Malaysia, the filming location. I would have easy access to Jakarta and Bali, Indonesia, Singapore and Phuket, Thailand. This is the opportunity of a lifetime so I'm in research mode as I write this. I'd love to explore the unknown and publish a book about my personal experiences. If the reality show doesn’t work out, I’ll be heading to San Juan, Puerto Rico to hang out on the beach for a week with my best friend. Why not?

This is my life - the adventures of a young woman with the need to live. I don't want to be a spectator watching life as it passes me by. There is no better time than now to find the Woman in Me.

Entertainment + Science = Education

2010-05-07T14:54:00.000-07:00

The Great Planet Earth Debate

A Mission to Bridge the Gap Between Traditional Education...

and Entertainment

Did you struggle through school as a child, wondering if you were the only person out there that just didn’t have the ability to absorb information being thrown at you on a daily basis? I, for one, spent my entire youth lost and confused. I couldn’t remember facts and figures, was bored to death in the typical classroom setting and had no interest in doing the work to learn important details in science, history and math that I knew would be easily forgotten. I sure didn’t have a problem remembering the lyrics to the latest top 40 hit that would drown out all my problems I faced in school – because the songs played over and over again, forcing me to absorb the words as if they were a part of me. I repeatedly told myself (and others) that if only teachers would put the material to music, I’d never forget a thing! WOW, what a concept!

Now is the time. It’s happening. My dream is finally coming to fruition.

Ignacio Peña has done it again. He’s managed to fuse music with education. The Great Planet Earth Debate is music + science + video = education. While living in Austin, Texas, Peña performed along with his band at a local high school’s Earth Day Event. Affected profoundly by the experience, the idea for educational concerts flourished and The Great Planet Earth Debate/El Gran Debate del Planeta Tierra was born.

The TGPED concept has taken several years to develop due to its intricate production. Consisting of a 45-minute rock science show in surround sound, the idea stems from Ignacio’s original show entitled “Phono/Grafico.” Presented behind the band, multiple screens serve as a backdrop displaying visuals with information and bullet points that flow in sync with live music. TGPED uses the same premise as Phono/Grafico but instead of the images representing political figures and current economic events, the visuals tell the story of the relationship between humans and the planet they inhabit, and how our modern behaviors are starting to alter the balances that allow for the conditions of our comfortable existence. The visuals include images of scientific matter, quotes from scientists such as physicist Stephen Hawking, famed inventor and namesake of the electric vehicle, Nikola Tesla, news clips and questions posed to cause the kids to ponder the effect we as a human race have had on our great planet Earth. The goal is to induce thoughts and ideas in our youth and create a safe environment for DEBATE over the future of our planet. The show leaves the children filled with an undeniable hope that they can begin to take steps now that will cause greater change and a better outcome for the future of humankind.

These nationwide “concerts for education” are targeted to middle and high schools, and universities in an effort to capture the imagination of our youth and garner their interest in the sciences and humanity. With the current state of the environment and the latest happenings such as the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, which affect not only the U.S. but the rest of the world as well, this project is a necessity and will become an indelible part of the educational system.

The first TGPED experience took place last week at the SeriouslyCreative Meeting Space in San Juan, Puerto Rico, where Peña was a guest speaker. Fifty students from local alternative schools were given first glimpse at the audio-visual experience by viewing TGPED video footage. The group of kids was allowed to ask questions and provide Peña with feedback in order to make necessary tweaks to perfect his show so that children will get the most pertinent information. The event was a huge success, with the response to the show being positive and upbeat.

The goal for this concept is for it to become an educational experience in a classroom setting, taking education to a whole new level. In today’s day and age, where children’s attention-span is at an all-time low, with media and technology consuming their thoughts and actions, TGPED is a necessary tool in our educational system. The next concert in the series, which Peña is already developing, will focus on flight and space exploration.

THE GREAT PLANET EARTH DEBATE will be a great national effort to better educate our children regarding this amazing Planet Earth.

For more information:

Check out the trailer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqPXfpYOrEs

The Debate @ SeriouslyCreative (Puerto Rico):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xj4VqueHU2E

See the video for “Mientras Espero del Fin del Mundo (2010)”:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPIJ-N-CGr8

SeriouslyCreative Blog (Puerto Rico):

http://seriouslycreative.com/blog/?p=77

The Great Planet Earth Debate/El Gran Debate del Planeta Tierra:

http://www.elgrandebatedelplanetatierra.com

You Ken Help (Kenny's Family)

2010-03-18T11:27:00.000-07:00

For those that have stopped by to read my entry about the passing of Kenny Lipska, thank you. If you've been kind enough to share your story about your friendship with Kenny, an even bigger thanks. It's been helpful to be reminded of this gentle soul we all knew and loved.

My blog has been turned into a makeshift memorial for Kenny and I am happy to do so. However, I was recently made aware of a site created especially for Kenny's family and friends to visit, leave a comment and even donate money to help his family as he left behind a young wife and two precious sons. I encourage you to stop by the site by going to You Ken Help.

Again, feel free to continue leaving comments and sharing your memories of our special friend. May he rest in peace.

Kenny Lipska... A Soul Lost Too Soon

2010-03-16T13:15:00.000-07:00

I received the news yesterday that one of my closest friends from high school was on life support after being diagnosed with spinal meningitis. It all happened so quickly and now he's laying in a hospital bed on life support waiting to be sent home to God.

Kenny and I became friends through my high school sweetheart and we quickly forged a bond. His family lived on the same street as so many of the kids we went to school with and he had tons of friends. All the girls liked him. He was cute and sweet and funny and kind... and so much more. He was my friend.

On summer nights we would all sit out in the street listening to music, telling stories, laughing and talking. When I was sad, Kenny would put his arm around me and let me cry on his shoulder. When I was happy, he would laugh with me. When I just needed a friend, he would wrap his arms around me and hold me.

I have so many fond memories of him that I hold dear to my heart. One summer night, we were all hanging out with his family on his front lawn. They were a close-knit, religious bunch (he has two sisters). We were laying down on the lawn cuddled up in a blanket, looking up at the stars. I never used to show affection like that but he made me comfortable. He loved me for me.

Kenny is the (only) reason I fell in love with country music. He and his neighbor Matt got me listening to, don't laugh... Billy Ray Cyrus. I never would have imagined myself listening to anything with a twang. If it weren't for Kenny playing "Achy Breaky Heart" I might not have ever opened my heart and mind to country.

On summer days, the gang would all drive out to the local reservoir and the boys would go on the rope swings. They would climb down the steep hill, grab the ropes hanging from the trees and literally hoist themselves up and into the water. My best friend Renee and I never did. I had an immense fear of the dirty green water but we would sit back and watch the boys. Kenny loved the rope swings.

I haven't spoken to Kenny since high school though I did look for him on Facebook a couple of years ago with no results. Last summer I connected with an old friend (who was one of the gang that would hang out on that street together) and he is the person who shared this devastating news with me. I feel sad that I missed out on the last years of Kenny's life. I'm told that he was very happily married with two beautiful boys. I am still trying to wrap my head around the fact that he is gone. I am beyond devastated that this wonderful friend and good-hearted man has passed away so early in life. He will be missed by so many. I can't even begin to imagine how much this has rocked his family's world. Words cannot express the devastation.

Kenny Lipska, may you rest in peace. God bless you and your entire family.

*If you have any memories to share about Kenny feel free to respond with a comment.

***Afterthought: Feeling sad, I just took a drive through the old neighborhood and relived many of the memories. As I was turning onto the street, Lady Antebellum's song, "Need You Now" came on the radio. How ironic that a country song would play at the exact moment I was driving on Kenny's old street (I was not listening to country radio). So sad.

Another celeb gone... too soon?

2010-03-10T13:26:00.000-08:00

This morning I woke up to the Yahoo! headline flashing across my screen, "Actor Corey Haim Dies at 38." Am I shocked? No, not really.

In one of my toughest entries on this blog, "New Year, New Me," I touched on the subject of drug use and the unhealthy lifestyle that oftentimes comes along with living in Los Angeles. Another dead celebrity as a result of drug use is no surprise to me. I've watched as friends destroyed their lives by ingesting prescription drugs, given to them for a valid health issue, soon to be abused for the purpose of having a good time. I've watched as a friend passed those drugs out to their friends as if they were candy, even sold them for a profit. I've stood by as that same friend exchanged pills with friends and family through the mail. This is all too common, especially in Los Angeles and definitely in the entertainment world. And you don't even need excessive amounts of cash in order to participate.

I recall a very poignant moment during a visit to LA sometime in late '99. My friend and I were headed down to hang out and party in Hollywood. Mind you, partying for me is and always has been having a few drinks (sometimes a few too many) but never has it ever involved the use of a drug of any kind (not prescription or non-prescription ... nothing, NADA!). I've never picked up a cigarette, never taken a pill other than aspirin or a pain killer for oral surgery or a toothache, or the occasional sleep medication, which by the way, I no longer do). We were in the car with my childhood friend and his very pregnant girlfriend, driving down Sunset Boulevard to go to a couple of hangouts where all the action goes down. I remember my friend talking to us about ecstasy and how it was so commonly used in his world (meaning the LA/entertainment world). I said, "I've never used it and never would. I have no desire to." He shot back at me, "Oh, that'll all change when you move down here." Both he and his girlfriend swore up and down that a life in LA would mean that I'd give up my morals and values simply to fit in.

I was in shock that these people, one who's known me since I was a little girl and who I thought understood me, would even suggest that I'd give in. Just because they'd done so, did that mean I'd have to? I think not! That is one belief of mine that I can promise has never and will never waiver.

This brings me back to all of these celebrities (actors, singers, wanna-be-somebodies) dying of drug overdose, whether accidental or intentional. I beg the question, can you have an "accidental" overdose? Do we not all completely understand the consequences of putting these dangerous foreign substances into our bodies, right into our blood stream, in most cases mixing them with other lethal drugs? While they may not intend to kill themselves, how can we claim it's an accident if they know the possibility of death is there?

And while we're on the subject, is it me, or do these types of overdose deaths seem to be occurring more frequently? I remember vividly, back in the day, the untimely death of entertainers such as River Phoenix (1993) from a drug overdose outside the Viper Room on Sunset Blvd. A few years later it was Dana Plato (May 1999), actress from the sitcom Different Strokes.

Now it seems to be happening way more frequently: Anna Nicole Smith (February 2007), Heath Ledger (January 2008), Michael Jackson (July 2009), Adam Goldstein AKA DJ AM (August 2009), Brittany Murphy (December 2009), Corey Haim (March 2010). Why are these people doing this to themselves? And why do "we" tend to idolize them?

I pray that the next time you want a feel-good fix, instead of popping a pill or something potentially worse, ask yourself the question, "Do I want to die?" Because if the answer is no, then don't do it. Find someone to talk to: a friend, confidant, parent, therapist, or better yet, go get some exercise. That's a natural high that will continually make you feel better, not just give you a false high that will send you crashing back down.

Life is for the living! Stay strong and be healthy.

What's on your bucket list?

2010-03-08T11:39:00.000-08:00

Do you have a bucket list? It's one of those things you think about doing or maybe have even talked to a friend about but you probably never actually composed one. Why make a bucket list? You never know how long we have left to live our lives to the fullest. A bucket list will help you visualize and manifest the things you'd like to do before you die.

I got the idea years ago and started my list but lost it somewhere along the way. And each year I write a list of goals which contains some of the items on my bucket list. Still, it's not the same thing.

Last year I was watching an episode of Oprah entitled "Step Out of Your Box" in which actress/comedienne Ali Wentworth challenged women to step outside their box by completing tasks that were the very things they feared. She supported the women while simultaneously facing her own fears by participating in each challenge. Some of those challenges included sky diving (on my to-do list), skinny dipping at the beach, becoming a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader (wearing the skimpy outfit and all) and doing the routine in front of thousands at the Texas State Fair, and joining a roller derby team. Watching this take place invigorated me.

Recently MTV began airing a new reality show "The Buried Life: What do you want to do before you die?" about four 20-something Canadian guys who travel the globe in a tour bus while knocking off things on their "100 things to do before you die" list and inspiring and helping others to do the same. This gave me an idea: write my own list and challenge myself to complete them. Some have already been checked off and others have remained unattempted but all are dreams of mine in some way or another. You'll see an underlying theme of fear of heights and water in many items on my list. Others are simply dreams I've had since I was a little girl.

My bucket list:

Visit my cousins in NYC (I haven't seen over in ten years)
Sky dive
~~Be in a recording studio while artist/band is recording~~ (Ignacio Peña and Bletzung)
Travel to Europe
~~Go to Puerto Rico~~ (I've been 4 times)
Drive cross country
See Canada
~~Model for a photo shoot~~
Help someone achieve one of their bucket list items
Win the lotto
~~Hit the road traveling with a rock band~~
Write and publish a book
~~Receive Associate's degrees~~
~~Receive Bachelor's degrees~~
Get my Master's degree
Have a child
Get married
~~Ride in a glider~~
Fall in love (I've been in love but I'm ready to fall all over again)
See the Ellen DeGeneres Show and meet Ellen
~~Meet the rock band The Fray~~ (met 3 times)
~~Visit Bermuda~~
Be a mentor to someone
Visit all 50 states (I've only been to 12)
~~Hike in a rainforest~~
~~Visit a major record label~~ (Been to Universal Music in Santa Monica and Universal Music distribution in Miami Beach)
Learn to play the guitar
~~Hold a Grammy award in my hand~~ (Done in 2005 in Miami)
~~Lose 20 lbs.~~ (Lost 23 lbs. in 2009)
Learn to surf
~~Ride in a KC-135 as it refuels a fighter jet~~
~~Move to Los Angeles~~
~~Compose lyrics to a song~~ (Did as a little girl and co-wrote song with singer)
See Graceland in Memphis
Go to ACL (Austin City Limits)
Go to Lollapalooza
~~Interview musicians/artists at Billboard Music Awards~~
See John Mayer perform live
Get an article published in a magazine
Learn to snowboard
~~Interview Latin singer Luis Fonsi~~ (published on web site PuroRock.com)
Run naked on a beach
~~Work at a radio station~~
Ride on a zip line
~~Meet Menudo / Ricky Martin~~
Visit Costa Rica
Learn to speak Italian
~~Be on TV~~ (LATV Live, Dr. Phil and Jimmy Kimmel Live)
~~Participate in SXSW Music Conference~~
~~Live by the beach~~ (lived in Santa Monica for 3 years)
~~Attend taping of TV show~~ (LATV Live, Dr. Phil Show, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Geraldo, The Farm Club and The Price is Right)
Take a dance class
~~Meet Jon Secada~~
~~Visit New York City~~
Go on a Mediterranean cruise
~~Visit a military base~~ (Camp Pendleton in San Diego, California)
~~Meet Diane Keaton~~
~~Go backstage at a concert~~ (Been inside Ricky Martin's tour bus and underneath stage and backstage of his tour in 1999)
~~Work on a music video~~ (Was a production assistant on The Donnas "Skintight" video)
~~Publish a blog~~ (You're reading it)
Go horseback riding
~~Throw a surprise party~~
Meet Dr. Mehmet Oz
Go to a Super Bowl
~~Get a tattoo~~ (got the Kanji symbol for Happiness, Hope, Love on my lower back)
Learn to fly a plane
Help someone build a house
Pay for someone else's groceries
~~Get my photo in a newspaper~~ (San Jose Mercury News in 2005)
Go on a blind date
Meditate at an Ashram
~~Go on a sailboat~~ (Guatemala and Cancun, MX)
Go snorkeling
~~Go to Tikal in Guatemala~~
~~Go to Mexico~~
Swim with dolphins
Run a marathon
Swim under a waterfall
Ride an ATV
~~Ride a motocross dirt bike~~
Go for a motorcycle ride
~~Visit a volcano~~
~~Ice skate~~
~~Get pink streaks in my hair~~
~~Walk across the Brooklyn Bridge~~
Climb a pyramid or ancient ruins (passed up the opportunity in both Cancun and Guatemala)
Buy a house
~~Buy my own car~~
~~Sit in on a live radio interview~~
~~Take a yoga class~~
~~Sit at a news desk~~
~~Drive across a bridge~~ (Golden Gate and Bay Bridge)
Ride a Gondola in Venice
~~Ride on a jet ski~~
Swim in a lake
Ride in a fighter jet
~~Ride in a helicopter~~ (Done in Kauai)
Go on an African safari
~~Indoor rock climbing~~
~~Take a mud bath~~

In writing my list, I've discovered how much I've already completed. WOW, that feels good. I've lived a lot. I feel lucky and privileged to be able to have accomplished so many goals I've dreamed up. But I do want to complete as many of the items on my list as possible.

If you have something on your bucket list that you'd like to accomplish feel free to share it here. I welcome you to "borrow" from my list as well. And if you'd like to help me out to complete mine, thoughts, ideas, suggestions and/or monetary donations are welcome. Click below to donate to the cause:

Thanks for all your support of my endeavors. I wish you the best in yours. Keep on keepin' on.

Muzik Girl

The Story of X

2010-03-01T14:41:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I was happily deleting files off my computer, which I do now and again to make room for the new, when I hopped on Windows Live Messenger. I hadn't signed on in months so this was quite unusual for me but out of shear curiosity, I signed in. I continued away deleting files and programs when up popped a message from an unexpected source. We'll call him "X".

I've known X since 2004. He was the keyboard player in the band I was promoting throughout the states. We were like two peas in a pod, on the road for a month and a half, always chatting and laughing and having a good time. We walked from the apartment we were staying at in West Hollywood to Tower Records on Sunset Blvd., all the while telling stories and cracking ourselves up. We often-times shared a room at some dumpy motel in the middle of nowhere as we drove through the desert to get from Los Angeles to our end destination: Dallas, Texas. X and I would spend nights talking about everything from past relationships to the perils of the music industry to our current passions and woes. There wasn't anything we didn't tell each other. Through our shared experiences on the road we bonded and would develop a lasting friendship. Many thought there was something more than friendship between us but it never once leaned in that direction. He was my best friend.

Our friendship continued (or should I say, "survived"?) through the breakup of the band, broken relationships, marriage and divorce, family turmoil, visits from me to his home across the country and an ocean, his visits to me in Los Angeles and much, much more. But the last time I saw him is a day I knew something was about to change, and not for the better.

It was May of 2008, when X planned a spontaneous trip to LA to visit me for a few days. The trip was really just an excuse to pick up some music equipment he had ordered through a friend at the Guitar Center in Hollywood. His friend was providing him a steep discount which made the trip worth his while.

My plan was to hang out with X as much as possible, do some site seeing, go out to dinner and spend time with friends while still handling my daily responsibilities at work. My friend in my apartment complex offered to pick X up from the airport while I was at my morning job and drop him off at the Guitar Center. After I got off work from my afternoon job I would drive out to Hollywood to pick him and his equipment up and bring him back to my apartment in Santa Monica. So off I went, with my roommate in tow, into the midst of rush hour traffic. If you know anything about LA, you know that it can take you an hour to drive five miles. I had to drive eight miles. Needless to say, it took us over an hour but we finally arrived where I was greeted with a giant bear hug. It was so nice to see X.

We spent the next few days cramming in as much activity as we could in between my jobs. We had dinner with friends, went shopping, hung out at Universal City Walk and walked around Beverly Hills where we visited my friend Hasty Torres' chocolate shop, Madame Chocolat, which has been featured on such shows as "The Girls Next Door" and "Dr. Phil." Hasty is an exceptional chocolatier trained by the world famous culinary chef and chocolatier Jacques Torres. I had dinner with Hasty and Jacques once in Hollywood, the day that the episode of "The Girls Next Door" was filmed at Madame Chocolat which I'll share another time. We managed to cram so much into the first few days which was great because I became seriously ill a couple of days in that I couldn't do much. Everywhere we went I had to visit a bathroom every 20 minutes. I wasn't eating but I was still sick to my stomach. It was coming out both ends. This was making it impossible to go anywhere or to enjoy myself.

Even though I was terribly sick, X was visiting and still wanted to do things and I didn't want to disappoint him. I asked my friends to take him out and show him a good time. They were good to him but he still pushed for me to come along. I was getting more frustrated by the day because I felt as though he was being selfish. I understood that he came a long way but what was I supposed to do, wear a diaper so I could paint the town with him?

I somehow managed to pull myself together on X's final night in town. We made dinner reservations for us and three other friends at a high-end restaurant famous for its ribs, just up the street from my apartment. X wanted to take us to dinner as a thank you. I was feeling resentful but did my best to put those feelings (and my illness) aside so that we could enjoy our last few hours together before I had to take him to the airport. We had some wine and I ordered the ribs but I really didn't consume much. I just wasn't up for it. We all had a great time laughing and eating (me watching them eat) and soon enough it was time to say goodbye.

In the days following X's departure, he called and asked me to pick up one last piece of equipment he had ordered that hadn't come into the store until he was already back home. I had no time in between trying to take care of my health, my jobs and the other things I had going on. It's not like in "LA-distance" the store was around the corner. I was also furious because at this point he didn't even offer to reimburse me for the expenses. X asked a friend of mine who wasn't working at the time and didn't live far from the Guitar Center to pick up the item and bring it over to me which thankfully he did. I remember how angry I was the day I mailed the package to him. The emotions had been brewing for at least a week and a half so it wouldn't be long before they erupted. When he eventually called, it all came out like a volcano spewing ash. I do believe that was the last time we spoke until just yesterday when his instant message flashed on my screen to my utter shock. I'm not saying my behavior was appropriate or acceptable because it was neither. I've learned a tremendous amount about myself since that time which is why I was so thrilled to see his name pop up on my screen.

We chatted online for an hour yesterday and much was said to heal the wounds of times past. We were very lucky to have found each other that day though I'm not sure I can call it luck. Maybe divine intervention. I had been thinking about X a lot, missing his friendship and wondering how he was doing. Ironically, I had come across many of the photos we've taken over the years while I'd been sorting through the files on my computer.

And then there were his recent experiences. X told me that the night before he had had a dream about me, that I was crying and he was there to wipe away my tears. When he woke up he couldn't stop thinking about me all day. He decided to sign onto Messenger which he said he hadn't done in months and there I was. Hmmm... makes you wonder why things happen the way they do. But who am I to question how God works? I'm just grateful to have my friend back in my life. And you know what? It was exactly how it always was between us: natural.

This story is a prime example of forgiveness (for both of us) and gratitude. I am forever grateful to understand the true meaning of forgiveness and the ability to let go. Often times we waste so much of our energy being hurt or angry over something so minor that we miss out on valuable time with our loved ones. What a spectacular lesson!

The Great Planet Earth Debate

2010-02-26T14:38:00.000-08:00

The Great Planet Earth Debate is an audio-visual presentation like nothing else I've ever seen. It's an educational experience melded with music in order to present children with the opportunity to learn about Planet Earth in a 21st Century way.

Don't forget to check out the trailer. If you're interested in getting involved or bringing the program into your school or educational system, feel free to contact me.

Makeover on my Blog

2010-02-26T13:43:00.000-08:00

My blog was a little discombobulated. I don't know what happened to all the html but everything was all out of order, stories became giant paragraphs and the whole site was looking ragged. So I made a few changes.

What do you think of the new look?

Comments welcome!

Repost: A Message of Discovery & Hope

2010-02-26T13:27:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends and Family:

It is a new time for us now as we sit in awe of the current federal deficit which seems only to be getting worse. The government would like you to believe that the economy is getting better and that by taking over the healthcare system, you will be better provided for in the future. No matter what you may think, I challenge you to do your own research. By this I mean really look into it. Don’t just assume you know the facts. Each political party provides you with the information they want for you to hear. If you are a conservative you are probably only consuming media from the right side, not allowing any other information to enter into your world. If you are a liberal, the same goes for the left side. I ask you to please open your mind and discover the wealth of information that abounds. There is so much to know, so many questions to be asked and answered and only you can do that for yourself. Please do NOT rely on the media or political parties to feed you information because most of it is bogus or tainted to encourage you to lean one way or the other.

I invite you to check out the website www.attentionallcitizens.org where you will find many videos that I promise you will make you think long and hard about what is happening in this country today. We have no one to blame but ourselves for not getting involved. Hopefully we can begin answering our own questions and coming together as a nation to resolve the issues that lie ahead of us.

If you get a chance, please check out this promotional short film for “Songs for the Fall of an Empire” by Ignacio Peña:

It’s 8 minutes of your life that won’t be wasted. Feel free to pass it on.

We can fix this. Meet me in the middle.

Comments on "Singer Turned Soldier"

2010-02-21T09:11:00.000-08:00

I received a nasty and heartless comment on my blog regarding the story "Singer Turned Soldier" about singer Marcos Hernandez giving up his musical career and signing his life over to the Marines. It's a comment I won't condone by approving it for publication, however, I do want to respond here. Whoever anonymously commented and didn't have the balls enough to do so openly, you are a coward. You may not agree with a person's choice to join the military, and you clearly don't agree with the actions our military has taken overseas, but that does not give you the right to wish detrimental events upon others. Where is your heart? Our men and women give up their lives everyday in order to protect YOU from the evils of the world. How ungrateful can you be?

And to comment on someone's talent in such a harsh manner the way you did is pathetic. Are you a record label exec? A professional musician? A&R? What gives you the right to pass judgment? We are each entitled to our opinion, especially about someone who placed themselves in the public eye, but let's keep it on a professional level. You don't have to get dirty and comment on someone personally. That's just cruel. You must have zero self-worth.

And oh by the way, you might want to go back to school and educate yourself in grammar and syntax in the English language. You were so quick to judge someone else but you might want to take a look at yourself. Most of what you wrote made absolutely no sense. You can't even write a complete sentence. And if you don't like my blog, guess what? Don't read it. It's as simple as that.

Truly, Madly, Deeply,

Muzik Girl

How I lost 23 lbs I didn't know I had to lose...

2010-02-20T09:25:00.000-08:00

In the last six months, I've been questioned from every angle as to how I've lost 23 pounds I hadn't even realized I'd gained until I really began looking at it from a health aspect.

For those that have been asking how I lost all the weight, I'm ready to tell all. But before I do, here's a little insight into how I gained it in the first place. If you don't know how you got there, you'll never know how to keep it off in the future.

It was October of 2007, following the break up an almost two-year relationship when I found myself nauseous for 10 days straight. For several months I'd been unhappy. I'd been downright depressed. I'd been eating ice cream (a poor choice not just because it's fattening but also because I'm lactose intolerant) and chocolate candy, and blending the two: chocolate ice cream. I was going out with my friends to the bar and drinking excessively. Throughout the summer, in order to cope, I spent weekends at my apartment complex pool with my friends drinking margaritas and daiquiris and eating unhealthy finger foods. This lousy behavior lead to my rock bottom.

I could barely get out of bed because the room wouldn't stop spinning. I've always been that girl who has nausea so when it first started I didn't think anything of it. But as the days went by and the nausea grew worse, to the point that I couldn't function, I knew something was very wrong. I did everything I'd ever been taught in order to alleviate my symptoms. I drank Sprite, ate saltine crackers, slept a lot, continued exercising and trying to eat a fairly healthy diet and I even got anti-nausea medication in the form of syrup from the pharmacy but nothing seemed to work. I went to two different urgent care centers but none of the diagnoses seemed to fit me and the solutions didn't change a thing. I had been in LA for a year and a half and still hadn't found myself a primary care physician. The day my nausea got so bad, I called my friend sobbing and asked her to go to yet another urgent care with me to find out what was wrong because I couldn't stand it any longer.

When I was finished with work that day, off we went, traipsing from Santa Monica to Marina del Rey in the midst of rush hour traffic. The moment I walked into the urgent care offices, I already felt relief. The nurse started by running down a list of probing questions to which I responded matter-of-factly. The final question: Could you be pregnant? "Umm, NO!" I told the nurse, "I've had my period. I can't be pregnant," to which she immediately responded, "Just because you've had your period doesn't mean you can't be pregnant." HELLO! Where the hell have I been over the last 30 years of life? Did I miss sex ed? Apparently so. At this point, I immediately flipped out. I could not, would not be pregnant with his baby. She handed me a cup and told me to pee in it so she could be certain I wasn't pregnant.

I was so scared. I anxiously peed in the cup and handed it to the nurse. Thank God she did the test right away and it was only a matter of minutes before I officially knew I was NOT pregnant. Thank you dear Lord for that lesson learned. You see, my relationship had ended poorly. The guy had cheated on me and done some other horrible things so this is clearly someone I did not want to parent a child with under any circumstances.

The doctor came into the room and introduced himself. He was not much older than me which made me uncomfortable, yet at the same time I knew I was in capable hands, someone who was up on the latest medical technology and treatments. We talked about the possibility of pregnancy, what my lifestyle was like and how I got to this particular place. He said it sounded like acid reflux but he wanted to run a full gamut of tests to be sure. I also asked him, just to be on the safe side and rule out all possibilities, to test me for all STDs. Scared as I was, I wanted to be certain that I didn't leave that relationship with a gift from my ex.

In the midst of our conversation and the doctor's questions, I filled him in on the relationship. I was sitting in this exam room with a doctor whom I'd just met ten minutes before, with my friend, crying. The doctor told me, "Don't cry. Look at you, sitting in urgent care, wearing a West Coast Choppers sweatshirt, crying." He certainly got a laugh out of me. If you've been living on another planet and don't know, West Coast Choppers is a motorcycle manufacturer based in Long Beach, California which is owned by Sandra Bullock's husband, Jesse James, the host of the Discovery Channel's hit show "Monster Garage." It's fair to say that it's an oxymoron to be crying in this "tough girl" sweatshirt. I loved that this doctor had a sense of humor and knew how to make his patients laugh in a serious and tear-filled moment. In that moment I knew I'd found my new primary doc.

That week the doctor sent me for blood and urine tests to determine the root of cause for my sickness. All tests came back negative which was a welcomed relief. All of the results for blood glucose, cholesterol, triglycerides, etc., came back normal so I was basically in a normal state of health except for this nausea. The doctor determined that I had acid reflux and the beginnings of an ulcer (thanks to all the Advil I'd been taking along with the Lactaid pills consumed with the ice cream) and he prescribed me the medication Omeprazole (generic for Prilosec) and also urged me to immediately move to a bland diet. That meant no more alcohol, salt, acidic foods like tomatoes (I'm Italian. What am I going to do without sauce?), no coffee or chocolate (caffeine is a huge trigger of acid reflux) and no more carbonated drinks because the bubbles only increase the acid in my stomach. My doctor also suggested going to Whole Foods and checking out its selection of natural remedies for acid reflux. He was the type of physician who preferred to fight illness with food, herbs and vitamins. I knew we'd get along.

So here I was depressed, sick beyond belief and feeling very alone. I drove straight to Longs to get my prescription and picked up a Sees chocolate candy bar with almonds at the register. I'd be taking my medicine and saying my final farewell to chocolate.
As the weeks wore on with no coffee or chocolate and with my new best friend: my medication, the acid reflux was beginning to get under control. Once in a while I'd have a slip up and grab a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup or a cup of coffee but I tried my best to avoid the foods the doc recommended against. I started noticing my weight gain when I'd look at photos of myself and I was definitely not happy with the way I looked. I wasn't weighing myself so I didn't know for sure but the spare tire around my waist, which was visible to anybody with eyes, was a huge clue. I'd go back home to visit my family and the photos would haunt me and taunt me, telling me how "fat" I'd become. I'm not trying to offend anyone by using the word "fat" but for me, a petite 5'3", this was fat. My unhealthy lifestyle and weight gain was definitely a factor in my move back to San Jose but I didn't comprehend that until I was home for at least six months and able to fully absorb the effects of LA on my body, mind and spirit.
As I acclimated back into a suburban lifestyle, I began changing my ways. At the same time I was going through my own metamorphosis, a new television show started airing, one I'd been waiting for for over a year: The Doctor Oz Show. I'd watched him on Oprah since his first appearance and slowly picked up many of his suggestions but I never fully incorporated them into my life - until now. Some people think I'm crazy for taking the advice of a man on TV but Dr. Oz is not just any man. He is a real life heart surgeon who heads up the cardiovascular surgery department at New York-Presbyterian Hospital in New York City. He is a well-rounded physician and knows exactly what he's talking about when it comes to anything regarding the human body. So with his medical advice, I began changing my life.
These are the changes I made:

I began taking probiotics (Good Belly, the probiotic drink I take, contains a live active culture like most yogurts except Good Belly is dairy-free). These good bacteria help aid your body in digestion by attacking the bad bacteria in your system which in turn, helps in strengthening the immune system. Probiotics can also be taken in pill form but pills do not contain the live culture so it's not as beneficial. Click on the link for more info on Good Belly.
I eat less meat (beef and chicken) and more fish including salmon, cod, catfish and roughy.
I eat more tofu and vegetarian meals. I am not, by any means, a vegetarian or suggest that you become one. But I do know that going back to a basic diet of non-processed/packaged foods is the best thing we can do for our bodies so I try my best to limit my meat intake.
I cut out white foods including white bread, flour, etc. (I do cheat sometimes but I don't make it a habit of eating these types of foods). I replaced white stuff with whole grains and oats.
I cut out sugars including sports drinks, juices, soda and candy (except on occasion).
I exercise 5-7 days per week (running 3 miles a day) and weights, crunches, lunges a few times a week.
I eat breakfast everyday (never skip breakfast, it's the most important meal of the day) which includes a bowl of Cheerios or oatmeal and a smoothie made of frozen berries (dark berries loaded with antioxidants like blueberries, blackberries and raspberries - you can find a large bag in the frozen food section at Costco), 1/2 banana, soy milk, and 1 scoop of ground flax seed (for extra fiber and Omega 3) plus I take a multi-vitamin, calcium citrate with Vitamin D and magnesium, and fish oil (pill form, also with Omega 3).
Snacks throughout the day that consist of fruits and vegetables, a handful of nuts or pretzels, or granola.
No more alcohol except for the occasional glass of wine or a wine-filled night. Even then, I only drink red wine because there's too much sugar in white.

I'm not going to lie and say that I don't cheat now and again. It's OK to have a handful of chocolate once in a while or that piece of cake at your birthday party but if you don't do it everyday, chances are it won't affect you too terribly. It's like anything else - moderation. I do drink coffee again - one cup a day. While caffeine causes acid in the stomach, I now have my acid reflux under control and the caffeine doesn't affect me the way that it used it. And oh by the way, I quit taking my medication about six months ago! I didn't want to be a slave to medicine for the rest of my life so through changing the things I had control over such as food, sleep, exercise, etc., I have been able to manage my own health and the results have been amazing. In the process, the pounds have melted away, sometimes without even trying.

Before I say goodbye, I'd like to share with you some before and after and transition photos. Living a healthy lifestyle really does work and here are the pictures to prove it.
Happy Living!

Before
4/2008

5/2008

12/2008

1/2009

Transition
6/2009

After
9/2009

2010: New Year, New Me

2010-01-11T10:42:00.000-08:00

I'm back!!! It's been a while since I've written on my blog but the time has arrived.

A new year with new energy. I've welcomed the new year and the new decade with open arms. Last year was one of the most challenging years I've ever faced but I made it through by the grace of God and with a sense of humor. I survived! That's a major feat in and of itself.

Going into 2009, I knew big changes lie ahead as I sensed a shift taking place inside my heart. I was beginning to question past decisions, the people I'd chosen to surround myself with, my ability to judge character clearly, why I was living in a city (Los Angeles) that represents fame, excess and lack of morals, where my life was headed and how on earth I was going to climb out of the rut I found myself in. I had no idea where or how to even begin.

I slowly but surely distanced myself from the toxicity of my so-called friends. Some were friends I'd known since college and others that were newbies, but all were not people who, if I had kids, I would want my kids to hang out with. Don't get me wrong, there were many happy times and great lessons I learned from my "friends" but when you cease to grow and the people around you are engaging in negative behaviors that become harmful to your own pysche, it means it's time to move on. I don't know why it took so long for me to awaken the common sense I'd apparently lost. I'm just glad it happened.

Part of it was having reconnected with my b.f.f. from college. We had gone through a difficult time following graduation and parted ways (not on good terms) due to our inability to deal with our inner demons, admit our own faults and get help. But my b.f.f. contacted me via LinkedIn in Summer of 2008. I waited three whole days to respond. I took the time to absorb her words and be certain that I had no ulterior motive in responding. From the moment we started writing, we easily fell back into our old, fun-filled friendship. We both took responsibility for our past actions and expressed how much growth we'd experienced. As time passed and our relationship grew stronger, I began to feel like me again. I realized that I didn't like this LA party-girl I had become. WOW. I admitted it. I wasn't happy with me anymore. I'd lost direction, gained weight, allowed people in my life who wanted to make themselves feel better by listing my faults for me and telling me how I needed to change, and I'd cut ties with the actual people who'd awakened a passion in me over the years because damnit, I allowed a "friend" to convince me that these people were unhealthy for me. Since when do I not think for myself? This isn't me.

I was ready to move back to the Bay Area to be close to my family again. My mother had been going through some major health issues and needed some assistance so that was another push in the direction of a move. I'd mulled the idea over for the last few months, especially since I'd come to understand that most of the people I had chosen to spend my time with on a regular basis didn't really care for or about me. The decision was made. I just had to tell my "friends." And so I did. I can honestly say that I felt a lack of support. Some "friends" said things in an attempt to make me feel as though I'd failed. I'd lived in LA from June of 2006 to Feb. 27 2009, just shy of three years. My "best friend" would insist I'd only lived there two years as if to say that I couldn't hack it. Well, guess what? I couldn't and I didn't want to. What sane person wants to continue in an environment where people can't be real, where they put up a facade, pretending to be something or someone they are not by living outside their means? Why would I want to continue living in a place where my "friends" were abusing narcotics by taking them recreationally and passing them out to their friends and even selling them for profit? Why would I want to continually subject myself to "friends" who blatantly talk about their "friends" behind their backs? If they're doing it to them, chances are they're doing it to me too! I was more ready than ever to say goodbye. By the way, I'm not saying that everyone in LA fits the above description. I just happened to surround myself with that very type.

For my 34th birthday, I planned a trip to New York City with my "best friend" as a last hurrah. It was my first time back in NY since I was 6 years old. I was born in New York. My family lived on Long Island. My parents were born in Queens and Mom was raised in Brooklyn. I came from a true New York Italian family who never minced words and always spoke their minds. I had such strong character. If I didn't like you, you knew it. I never held back. This was a quality for which my "best friend" condemned me on a regular basis. But the moment I arrived in NYC, I felt as if I was home. I don't mean the kind of home you live in. In NYC, I felt 100% that I belonged. It was a deep knowing, truly understanding where I came from and finally feeling at peace. This was one more sign to me that I was definitely on the right path of getting back to me. To read more about my NYC experience see the blog entitled, "My First Time in NYC" at http://musicgirlonamission.blogspot.com/2009/04/my-first-time-in-nyc.html.

Upon my return from NYC, I began to go through my things, figuring out what I could throw out or donate, and what really needed to move with me. Not only had I been doing a moral inventory but now I was doing a material one as well. My uncle was renting a U-Haul trailer to load all my stuff into and drive up to Northern California. I'd be moving back into my parents' house (Dear God, please help me). Truth be told, I wasn't looking forward to living with my parents again but I didn't have much of a choice since I'd have no job, a small savings account, and little to show for myself. But I did feel blessed and grateful for the fact that I have parents who were willing to give me their support to help me get back on my feet. I quit both of my part time jobs, packed up and shipped out without looking back.

It's not to say that moving back was the easiest thing I ever did but it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. But so was moving to LA. It stripped me down to the bare bones; coming back built my character back up. I'm stronger than I've ever been. Again I was faced with major decisions that would either move me in the direction of growth or would keep me stuck in the same useless place I'd found myself in for some time.

As soon as I moved back I began looking for a job (unfortunately, this tedious task still remains on my daily to-do list). I got myself into a routine of running three miles a day at least three to four days a week which eventually turned into six to seven days a week. Rarely a day passes that I don't work out. I feel like a schlump if I don't. In 2007, life came to a total standstill following the break up of my year and a half long relationship. Because I was acting out by regularly drinking with friends and consuming unhealthy foods, I found myself lying on my couch for 10 days straight from a nausea I'd never experienced before. Following several trips to urgent care, I was diagnosed with acid reflux and put on medication. Eventually, with the meds, I got the illness under control but moving back to the place where I grew up and starting life all over again, it was my goal to get off the meds (I've never believed in putting foreign substances into my body unless absolutely necessary, especially for things that can be controlled with diet and a change in lifestyle). I knew I had to get my health in tip top shape. That's exactly what I did. Along with the shift in my exercise regime, I did a 180 degree turn with my eating habits and soon stopped the medication. My acid reflux was gone and I lost 20 lbs. I was a whole new person! Not really, but physically, I felt like I was back in my 20s.

During this already challenging time, I was running my mother around from doctor to doctor, to emergency rooms and urgent cares. She was in and out of hospitals for surgeries, treatment, and physical therapy. We thought the worst was over until she began crying of excruciating pain. This went on for months. It wasn't until a few months ago that doctors finally discovered the true source of my mother's pain. She was operated on two more times and is now on her way to a full recovery.

As this was all happening, my "best friend" was sending me aggressive e-mails accusing me of being a bad friend and of not making time for her. Funny because I seem to remember trying to talk to her and being told that I needed to be "scheduled into her calendar" because she was so busy. After many failed attempts at communication (I tried my best to maintain some connection so as not to throw a friendship completely by the wayside), I decided to put some distance between us but she called me on it over and over again. I just didn't want it to become a battle. I didn't want to run down a laundry list of items or reasons that it was no longer healthy for us to be close. Maybe that was the coward's way out but I didn't want to be judgmental. I just wanted to do what was best for me. But she couldn't understand my need for separation. Nor was she happy with the fact that I removed several of her friends from my Facebook page (they were her friends, after all). She told me that she couldn't maintain a relationship with me if I couldn't be friends with her friends. What kind of friend is that? I could see the demands flying. Too many expectations here. I could smell the end of this friendship coming from miles away.

Early in 2009, I began a long-distance relationship with a good friend that ended almost as quickly as it began. We had met through work and had been friends for several years. He was significantly younger than me but he appeared to be mature. He had strong morals, came from a close-knit family and we seemed to want many of the same things. I really believed the relationship would work but discovered that he wasn't quite the great communicator that I thought he was. So I ended it after a few attempts at making things right. Besides the years of friendship we shared, there are some positives that I can take from the short-lived relationship for which I am grateful. The first is that I recognized early on that this wouldn't work and I took the necessary steps in order to let go rather than dragging out the inevitable. The second plus about this relationship is that it awakened something in me that I hadn't felt for a long time. I've spent the last decade determined that I didn't want to marry or have children but something about this man opened my heart to the idea that maybe those things are possible in my future. That's a huge step for me. And it feels good to admit it. So thank you to this special man for breaking me wide open.

Toward the latter half of the year I traveled to Raleigh, North Carolina to visit my b.f.f. and her family. I call this my "healing period." My "Eat, Pray, Love" moment, if you will. I was so wound up from months of no sleep and pure emotional exhaustion. It took me the entire six days to wind down. On day one, I remember driving through the back streets with my b.f.f. behind the wheel and crying. I don't mean just crying. I was bawling. Here was months of pain erupting from within. I was embarrassed but also knew that this woman sitting next to me understood me and knew that I was grieving and letting go. She and her husband helped me spiritually to find my center again. The word gratitude cannot explain how much I appreciated that they opened their home to me, gave me so much love (along with their children) and helped me see more than just myself. It was also during this trip that I responded to the latest accusatory e-mail that I had received three weeks prior from the "best friend." I was ready to say my final goodbye and let go of all the drama that had slowly worked its way into my life.

Since returning from Raleigh, life has been much calmer. Yes, there have been bumps in the road along the way but I am handling them with much more grace. I had the sheer pleasure of spending the last few weeks of 2009 with the family I love so much and friends that I adore. It gave me renewed hope for 2010, a year that I'm certain will be filled with plenty of smiles and a lot of faith that was so difficult to find in '09.

2010... I welcome you with open arms. I love you already.

Songs for the Fall of an Empire

2009-08-18T12:08:00.000-07:00

A must see: Promotional short film featuring the music from Ignacio Peña's Digital 45 release "Songs for the Fall of an Empire"

Watch it and think.

My thoughts on Michael Jackson final rehearsal

2009-07-03T08:11:00.000-07:00

No matter what you might have to say about MJJ's character (we will never know the truth but speculation does not make a person guilty), he was the single most talented person of our generation. MJJ was a lost soul who never got a fair shake because of his personal choices, however unwise they were. Totally misunderstood. A friend of a friend said, "No childhood and now no old age." Bummer that he's gone and we'll never get the opportunity to see his dream of this tour come into fruition.

Dear Potential Employer

2009-06-20T07:56:00.000-07:00

Dear Potential Employer:

Since relocating back to the Bay Area four months ago, I have been actively searching for employment but have been unsuccessful in finding a job. I have applied for hundreds of jobs based on postings for open positions or submitting my resume to the human resources e-mail address listed on your website. I have even submitted my resume via employee referrals, but yet again I’ve been ignored.

You think that just because the economy is down, the unemployment rate is high and thousands of candidates are applying for the same job at your company that you have the right to be rude and disrespectful by not acknowledging that I’ve applied for an opening in your organization or that you ever even received said application. Worse yet is that you’re not even willing to pay me what I’m worth! You’re too busy giving the upper echelon a six-figure income to even notice that the salary you are offering me isn’t one I can survive on. That’s poverty-level in this geographical area considering the high cost of living. Most times companies don’t list the salary range hoping that a candidate will submit their resume anyway. When they do post a salary for any given position, it’s a joke. I mean, $12 an hour for an administrative position? Are you kidding me??? Where do you suggest I live in the Bay Area at $12 an hour? One cannot even live in a one-bedroom apartment in San Jose on that salary! Why, Mr. Big Shot Corporation, are you being so cheap?

As an experienced administrative assistant, I keep the wheels well-oiled in order to keep the organization going. The big wigs need me in order to enter information into the computer. They need me to compose a letter for them because either they can’t type faster than a hunt and peck or they don’t know how to use basic computer software systems. How is this possible in Silicon Valley? We created the high-tech industry. I do the support work that makes your job easier. I manage your calendar, I book your travel and I prepare your correspondence. I make sure you have reservations or lunch delivered for meetings, I answer your phone and take messages and I help you prepare for presentations. I help you run your life and make sure there is balance between work and home, many times at the sacrifice of my own family. I do everything for you just short of wiping your rear end.

The other day when I was speaking to a representative at EDD to discuss whether or not I would qualify for unemployment benefits, the incompetent woman told me that when she had contacted a friend of mine “she hunged up on me.” Why is it that these people can’t put together a basic sentence in the English language yet they can work for the State of California and make major decisions regarding my future benefits? Not to mention, they make pretty decent money! As noted on the EDD career site (http://www.edd.ca.gov), an Unemployment Program Representative makes somewhere between $2817 - $4256 per month. I’ve applied for this position but guess what? I’ve never been contacted and I believe I’m more than qualified. I speak English, I have a college degree (that I was told would move me ahead in the employee job pool but has done nothing for me), I know how to use a computer, I have customer service training and I know how to deal with people. What gives?

Signed,

Unemployed and Sick of It

Great Weekend and Happy Monday

2009-06-01T08:58:00.001-07:00

Hope you had a great weekend. Mine was packed with things to do. Friday night I went with my old college buddy Cathy to see the Vinyl Trees (Mark Smith, former SJ Shark) at a dive bar, BLVD Tavern in Los Gatos. What an eclectic group of people! The band was better than I expected considering the music on the guys' myspace page doesn't show off their abilities as artists. They are a 3-piece band but added electric guitar at the show which really was a bonus. This was a pleasant surprise. Saturday morning, after barely sleeping, I was up and at 'em early to watch my niece's final soccer game of the season in S. San Jose. It was overcast and cool so I had no idea I'd get burned. Not the brightest move to no wear sunblock. The game was good - they tied. The ref let them teams do a battle of kicks at the end and her team kicked butt. Saturday evening a friend from the Radio, TV & Film department at SJSU drove back up north (another Los Angeleno officially moves back to the Bay Area). We met for drinks following dinner and drinks with my former professor. Lots of laughter. Up and at 'em early again on Sunday morning. I went to my sister's house for our final attempt at making some money off our old things at a yard sale. It was a total bust! Hint: Sundays are not the day for a yard sale. I made $2.50 for 5 hours of my time. Not exactly worth it. In the end, all my old items went to a good cause. We dropped off two carloads worth of stuff to the American Cancer Society so at least something good came out of it. Sure feels good to be rid of all the boxes. :) Monday morning and back to looking for jobs. Ahh, life's good.

E-mail/Cell phone Etiquette - Where has it gone?

2009-05-28T10:46:00.001-07:00

E-mail/Cell phone/Facebook etiquette - Where has it gone? Or should the question be, "Did we ever have it?"

On a daily basis I am reminded of how inconsiderate (or shall I say "ignorant"?) people can be since technology took over our lives: I'm driving down the road and get cut off by a man who doesn't even notice that I'm there because he's too busy chatting on his cell phone. I thought this became illegal in California last year but what do I know? Ever heard of using an ear piece?

I'm sitting in a restaurant having lunch with a friend and I can't hear myself speak because the gal at the next table is chatting on her phone as if the person on the other end of the line is on the other side of the planet. Or worse, my friend's cell phone rings and he rudely picks it up mid-conversation with no regard for our time together. By answering his phone he's telling me that his phone call is more important than my time.

I call my friend on her cell phone but in the middle of ringing it goes to voicemail. Does she think I don't know that she "denied" me? Or does she not care that I know she denied me? At least have the decency to silence the phone and let it continue to ring as usual so I don't know you're blatantly ignoring my call.

I'm exhausted beyond belief and fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. At midnight my cell phone beeps, alerting me to a text message. It beeps again. I'm getting drunk texted (there's was a time when “drunk dialing” was the in thing) by people whose moods are so altered by the intoxication of alcohol that they don't care if I live a normal life and have to get up at 7:00 am. When did drunk texting become so popular anyway?

It's 6:00 am and I don't need to be up until 7:15. My dear friend insomnia visited me last night (and the night before and the night before that) so I am dead tired. My cell phone sings that familiar sound to alert me to a text message. But wait, here come four more. A friend decides that he needs to send out a 5 page text message that I believe should have come in the form of an e-mail (so it doesn't wake the sleeping dead). For those that are going to tell me to turn my cell phone off at night - I use my cell as my alarm clock. Besides, why should I have to turn it off?

E-mail etiquette is almost as bad. I e-mailed an old friend who happens to be a recruiter to ask him to keep an eye out for a position that might match my qualifications. He never acknowledges that he received it. Could he not write back and say, "Sorry, I have no positions that match your skill set but I'll keep an eye out for you" or "I'd love to help but I'm just not in a position to do so"? Something. Anything would have been nice. Nope, nothing. I write a work-related e-mail that actually requires a response but hear nothing back from the recipient. When did it become OK to ignore people in business?

Forwards/Spam are annoying. Most people don't like their inbox filled with junk mail. Unless it's super funny or important, don't forward crap. I rarely send out forwards but when I do they are targeted only toward the people whom I know will enjoy them, not to everyone in my address book.

Facebook has become a daily mode of communication for its millions of users around the world. I'm not knocking it as it's been a key tool for me to reconnect with long lost friends and family. I do not, however, understand the friend requests by people I've never met or people from high school that I neither called a friend nor ever even shared words with. And another thing... why add a person if you're never going to write them to say, "Hi, how are you?" Am I just another notch on your facebook bedpost? I get that we're all busy and we lead crazy, hectic lives. Maybe we don't have time to say hello or write an e-mail every week but do you not have a moment to comment on a friend's status update or type a quick "cute pic" under their photo? These people seem to have all the time in the world to play useless, time-wasting facebook games like Mafia Wars or send a Starbucks or boozemail, tend to a friend's virtual garden or hunt for Easter eggs. I wonder how many "friends" I'll lose after writing this blog.

By the way, if you talk to me on even a semi-regular basis then you know I'm not talking about you. No offense is intended here. I'm just trying to figure out why anyone would want to bother befriending someone just to have them in their friend list.

Rules for technology in 2009 (in case you missed etiquette class in childhood)

1. When someone calls you, return their call within a 48 hour period. At least acknowledge that the call came through with a text or e-mail. Same goes for an e-mail. Don't pretend you never received the call/email/text. It's just plain rude.

2. If you don't have a headset of some type, don't drive and talk on the phone. People can barely drive without the usual distractions. As for texting, it's not allowed while operating a motor vehicle.

3. When in a restaurant be courteous enough to keep the cell phone on silent or at least silence it when it starts to ring. Everyone doesn't need to know that you're so important because you're getting lots of phone calls. At the same time, unless it's urgent, don't answer it. And if you must, don't scream. There is this thing called sound that should be kept to a normal level. The person on the other end of the line can hear you just fine whether you're talking in your normal voice or yelling. I promise.

4. If you're shopping in the store and talking on the phone and you need to purchase something, put your call on hold or put the phone down so as not to be rude to the person assisting you. For the ladies: Same goes for trying on clothes in the fitting room. That little room is not soundproof so people can hear your entire conversation about that hot guy you locked eyes with across the bar last night.

5. If you must talk on the phone while in a public restroom, keep your voice down. There are other people in the bathroom that can hear your every word. Not to mention, I'm certain the person on the other end of the call can hear the piddle as it hits the water and the toilet flushing. P.S. Don't forget to wash your hands. Nobody wants to touch a dirty door handle after they've washed their owns hands.

6. If you are calling a different time zone keep that in mind when dialing the digits. It's not nice to call someone at odd ours of the night or early morning so be respectful. What's more annoying is when the person has dialed a wrong number at 6 am.

7. Before sending a text message think long and hard if it's really necessary. We are losing human contact out of laziness. It's so much easier to send a text and not have to spend the time or effort talking to someone. Unless it's something really minor, if you care then make the call.

8. When on a phone call, have the courtesy to focus on the person you are talking to and not type on the computer at the same time. Whomever you are speaking to can hear the clicking of the keys as you are typing away on something that is so obviously more important to you than your conversation.

9. If you write an e-mail/message use the spell check. Don't make it more difficult for the recipient of your message than it should be. He/She shouldn't have to guess at the message you are trying to relay. Sidebar: When sending message, double check to be certain you've copied the correct recipients. Nothing like receiving a note that was meant for someone else!

10. Recipients: To/CC/BC - If you decide it's important enough to pass along an e-mail, remove the recipient history so everyone and their brother's e-mail addresses aren't passed onto your entire address book. Along the same lines, instead of putting the e-mail addresses into the "To" section, blind copy them (you know, the "BC" line). This will also prevent viruses from spreading should someone's computer be attacked. Respect your friends and family's privacy by guarding their personal information.

Try to maintain etiquette when diving into technology. Now hurry up and respond to that message that's been waiting for you. The person who wrote it deserves it!

Ignacio Peña v. Don Omar: Round 1

2009-05-28T06:56:00.000-07:00

In one corner, we have the Afro Puerto Rican reggaeton rapper Don Omar claiming the title of first Latin artist to release an iPhone application. In the other corner, is the ultra opinionated futurehead, Puerto Rican rocker Ignacio Peña defending his title. Funny that Omar can make claims on the title when he hasn't even released his app yet. Go ahead, open your iTunes and check. It's not there. Peña's was released two weeks ago for which I happily distributed the press release. (See previous blogs below)

Two weeks ago, when we were prepping the press release, I checked with several of my contacts at Apple, none of whom could name a Latin artist who'd yet to release an app. One person informed me that Omar had submitted one for approval, but apparently it hasn't been approved yet because it's nowhere to be found in the iTunes app store. Maybe it's not worthy of approval.

Yesterday I was told that Omar is being introduced to the concert stage in Puerto Rico as "the first Latin artist to release an iPhone application." What a joke! Is that really how you want to be presented to the world? How about, "Grammy nominated" or "platinum selling artist"? Or maybe "highest charting debut album"? But first iPhone app? Seriously people, get a grip. You should definitely be proud to be the first Latino to do anything in the music business considering it's such a tough market to penetrate but to claim the title of first app? Is this what we've come to? Besides, how can you present yourself as having done something you haven't even completed and steal the title from the artist deserving of it? That's a bold-face lie! Does he need the title that badly? Is it going to make or break his career?

Peña has struggled to make a name for himself in both the Latin and American markets, creating music which isn't "radio friendly" with his sometimes controversial lyrics and often heavy tones. His music charted in Radio & Records Magazine over a two year period, his song “Velocidad de escape”, a duet with Gustavo Laureano lead singer of La Secta All Star, one of the 15 most heard rock songs in the US as reported by the Latin Rock/Alternative charts of the magazine. Peña debuted at the South by Southwest music festival in Austin in 2005 where he won the first-ever iTunes Jukebox Jury competition. As a result, his album "Anormal" was featured in the iTunes music store where it jumped up the "Top Album" chart to #4. What more does he have to do in order to prove himself to radio, or even more, to the labels?

Omar's record label, Universal Musica, ironically Peña's first label, states in a press release posted on its website, "Later this month, Don Omar will launch the IDON application for iPhone and iPod Touch devices. In doing so he will become the first Latin artists to ever release this type of application and will open up a new level of interactivity with his millions of fans." So now the record label is misleading its consumers and claiming the title on his behalf? I'm not surprised. This is Universal we're talking about. I just have one question for Universal and Omar: "Where is this so-called first Latin artist iPhone app?" Funny, I still can't find it. Oh yeah, that's right. It's called the Ignacio Peña app. See for yourself. The proof is in the pudding.

Round 1: Ignacio Peña KO

Coldplay Gives Back to the Fans with FREE Music

2009-05-19T07:29:00.000-07:00

For those of you that are Coldplay fans, or if you live under a rock somewhere and don't know their music.. now's your chance, follow the link below to download, for FREE, live tracks directly from Coldplay.

As a thank you to the band's fans, the guys wanted to give something back. I've always known Coldplay to be generous with the people that make them who they are - FANS. This is one of the key reasons that I'm willing to give them my money - because they're not afraid to give back. When you reward people (this includes companies rewarding their employees) you will get more from them in return.

Last summer I spent almost $100 a ticket to see them live for the first time at the HP Pavilion in San Jose. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to bring my camera into the venue because you just never know these days. I decided to sneak it in. The trick, for ladies anyway, is to hide it in the small pocket inside your purse. In the event that security wants you to open the pocket so they can see inside, place a personal female item on top of the camera which will make them so uncomfortable they'll let you go without searching further. Voilà. You're in.

So I snuck my camera in only to discover that the place was lit up by flashes going off all around me. So I joined in. The band was amazing. They played all the classics and almost everything off the new album (Viva La Vida). Chris Martin rocked it out. I took over 200 photos that night. We sat 18th row so I got some great shots with my little SLR digital camera.

The highlight of the show was when the band ran off the stage, down the side of the floor seats and up a side aisle, right into the audience. They set up shop in the middle of screaming fans and jammed on a couple of songs with people standing arm to arm, feeling every drop of sweat that fell from Chris Martin's body. Ahh... what a thrill!

The show ended with a bang as thousands, if not millions, of fluorescent-colored paper mache butterflies were released from above and came floating down onto the entire arena. Beautiful.

If you get the chance to catch Coldplay out on the road now I highly recommend it. These guys do NOT disappoint.

Get your FREE tracks here:

http://www.coldplay.com/lrlrl/lr.html

Ignacio Peña Steps Into the Future As First Latin Artist to Release iPhone Application

2009-05-15T15:00:00.001-07:00

I just got a phone call with some major news and wanted to share it with all of you. It's official: Ignacio Peña's first iPhone application was released on iTunes. If you have an iPhone then it's a must-see. It's worth the 99 cents to have access to all his music and much, much more. Following is the press release I will distribute Monday morning to make it official: Ignacio Peña Steps Into the Future As First Latin Artist to Release iPhone Application

AUSTIN, Texas (May 18) – Culminating a short sabbatical from his music to reenergize, musician Ignacio Peña is resuming his solo career by reconnecting to his fans with his first-ever iPhone application.

The self-titled application will give Peña’s listeners the chance to get up close and personal with him by giving them access to the “streaming” of his discography, home demos, live recordings, unreleased songs, and photos and videos from his personal collection. Personally supervising the creation of the application for Apple’s iPhone, he will include an updated biography and customized notes on each song and a “fan wall” where participants can communicate directly with him and each other. The new biography reveals never-shared before personal aspects about Peña’s development as a musician and artist. Fans will be able to twitter with him directly from the application which is compatible with the iPod Touch and is on sale in the iTunes store.

“The music industry has been going through a changing of the guard in recent years. The old corporate scheme has fallen and a new one is just beginning to develop. Perhaps that’s more true of the Anglo market at the moment, but the Latin market will follow as it always does,” Peña explains. “I began in this business as the old model began to demise so I personally saw the consequences of a purely corporate model where the artist and the fans had to adhere to the record label’s rules. That’s the reason my second album was independent,” he continues.

Peña’s belief in giving the fans accessibility to the artist was the driving force behind the creation of his iPhone application. “It’s about speaking to your niche audience. Technology now allows us to do that. The power is now in the hands of the fans. I, for one, could not be happier about it,” he resonates.

Peña is readying his next release entitled “Songs for the Fall of an Empire,” a two-song package, “Defeat” and “Something Was Bound to Happen,” that features the American School Choir from his native Puerto Rico. The songs will be available through the application at the end of May and will be released on iTunes at a later date.

For more information on Peña visit www.myspace.com/ignaciopr or www.twitter.com/radioig.