Do you ever find yourself in a place of confusion? As of late, I struggle to move. Not physically struggle, but emotionally and mentally. There are days I have no idea what I'm doing, where I'm going or how I'm even going to get there.
Just over a year ago my mother and I left our home in San Jose, California, to begin our cross-country journey to what would become our new home in Southwest Florida. My father was staying behind but would meet us in Florida in the summer. I was eager to leave Cali as I'd spent my entire life there. In many ways I am a California girl... I love the beach and the warm weather, I completely despise cold (except for ice cream) and I'm a techie at heart. I grew up in San Jose, the heart of Silicon Valley. As a young girl I used to build computers with my father. But as I got older I found myself feeling less and less like I fit in. Cali is one of the most liberal states in the country and I am at the total opposite end of the political spectrum. By the time we left, I knew I didn't belong.
The journey to Florida took a couple of months by car as we stayed with family and friends along the way and visited places I'd always wanted to see like the Grand Canyon, Sedona, New Orleans, Louisville and Nashville, just to name a few. The trip was at times very challenging as we had three dogs (my boy Ozzy & my mother's two) so by the time we arrived to our new hometown, we were fairly exhausted.
We'd set up in advance a cute rental home in the general neighborhood where my parents were building their new home on a canal. The area is spread out, less populated than I'm used to so it's taken some adjusting but I'm 10 miles from the beach so how could I really complain?
Being here hasn't been the easiest adjustment. This isn't exactly a mecca of young folks and it's certainly not the bustling city I'd been used to. To get to the nearest (safe) bar I have to drive 15 - 20 minutes. Yeah, I'm a little secluded. As you can imagine, the jobs aren't exactly rolling in either. I had a small business selling stainless steel lockets which kept me going but that seems to have died down too. On top of all that, once I arrived in Florida and my medical insurance found out I was no longer in California, I was dropped like a hotcake. I used to purchase my own Blue Shield health insurance which was much more affordable before Barry Soetoro took over. Trying to find comparable insurance here would have cost me over $600 with a crazy-outrageous deductible. Not working and having barely any income, you can imagine that was unrealistic. So, here I am with zero insurance, zero job and not the life I had planned.
What to do now? That remains the question. I keep plugging forward and reminding myself everyday that there is a reason and a purpose. Hopefully I'll find it.
Should you feel the desire to donate:
https://paypal.me/saltwaterheart.
