Thursday, March 18, 2010

You Ken Help (Kenny's Family)

For those that have stopped by to read my entry about the passing of Kenny Lipska, thank you.  If you've been kind enough to share your story about your friendship with Kenny, an even bigger thanks.  It's been helpful to be reminded of this gentle soul we all knew and loved.

My blog has been turned into a makeshift memorial for Kenny and I am happy to do so.  However, I was recently made aware of a site created especially for Kenny's family and friends to visit, leave a comment and even donate money to help his family as he left behind a young wife and two precious sons.  I encourage you to stop by the site by going to You Ken Help.   

Again, feel free to continue leaving comments and sharing your memories of our special friend.  May he rest in peace.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Kenny Lipska... A Soul Lost Too Soon




I received the news yesterday that one of my closest friends from high school was on life support after being diagnosed with spinal meningitis.  It all happened so quickly and now he's laying in a hospital bed on life support waiting to be sent home to God.

Kenny and I became friends through my high school sweetheart and we quickly forged a bond.  His family lived on the same street as so many of the kids we went to school with and he had tons of friends.  All the girls liked him.  He was cute and sweet and funny and kind... and so much more.  He was my friend.

On summer nights we would all sit out in the street listening to music, telling stories, laughing and talking.  When I was sad, Kenny would put his arm around me and let me cry on his shoulder.  When I was happy, he would laugh with me.  When I just needed a friend, he would wrap his arms around me and hold me.

I have so many fond memories of him that I hold dear to my heart.  One summer night, we were all hanging out with his family on his front lawn.  They were a close-knit, religious bunch (he has two sisters).  We were laying down on the lawn cuddled up in a blanket, looking up at the stars.  I never used to show affection like that but he made me comfortable.  He loved me for me.

Kenny is the (only) reason I fell in love with country music.  He and his neighbor Matt got me listening to, don't laugh... Billy Ray Cyrus.  I never would have imagined myself listening to anything with a twang.  If it weren't for Kenny playing "Achy Breaky Heart" I might not have ever opened my heart and mind to country.

On summer days, the gang would all drive out to the local reservoir and the boys would go on the rope swings.  They would climb down the steep hill, grab the ropes hanging from the trees and literally hoist themselves up and into the water.  My best friend Renee and I never did.  I had an immense fear of the dirty green water but we would sit back and watch the boys.  Kenny loved the rope swings.

I haven't spoken to Kenny since high school though I did look for him on Facebook a couple of years ago with no results.  Last summer I connected with an old friend (who was one of the gang that would hang out on that street together) and he is the person who shared this devastating news with me.  I feel sad that I missed out on the last years of Kenny's life.  I'm told that he was very happily married with two beautiful boys.  I am still trying to wrap my head around the fact that he is gone.  I am beyond devastated that this wonderful friend and good-hearted man has passed away so early in life.  He will be missed by so many.  I can't even begin to imagine how much this has rocked his family's world.  Words cannot express the devastation.

Kenny Lipska, may you rest in peace.  God bless you and your entire family.

*If you have any memories to share about Kenny feel free to respond with a comment.

***Afterthought:  Feeling sad, I just took a drive through the old neighborhood and relived many of the memories.  As I was turning onto the street, Lady Antebellum's song, "Need You Now" came on the radio.   How ironic that a country song would play at the exact moment I was driving on Kenny's old street (I was not listening to country radio).  So sad.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Another celeb gone... too soon?

This morning I woke up to the Yahoo! headline flashing across my screen, "Actor Corey Haim Dies at 38."  Am I shocked?  No, not really.

In one of my toughest entries on this blog, "New Year, New Me," I touched on the subject of drug use and the unhealthy lifestyle that oftentimes comes along with living in Los Angeles.  Another dead celebrity as a result of drug use is no surprise to me.  I've watched as friends destroyed their lives by ingesting prescription drugs, given to them for a valid health issue, soon to be abused for the purpose of having a good time.  I've watched as a friend passed those drugs out to their friends as if they were candy, even sold them for a profit.  I've stood by as that same friend exchanged pills with friends and family through the mail.  This is all too common, especially in Los Angeles and definitely in the entertainment world.  And you don't even need excessive amounts of cash in order to participate.

I recall a very poignant moment during a visit to LA sometime in late '99.  My friend and I were headed down to hang out and party in Hollywood.  Mind you, partying for me is and always has been having a few drinks (sometimes a few too many) but never has it ever involved the use of a drug of any kind (not prescription or non-prescription ... nothing, NADA!).  I've never picked up a cigarette, never taken a pill other than aspirin or a pain killer for oral surgery or a toothache, or the occasional sleep medication, which by the way, I no longer do).  We were in the car with my childhood friend and his very pregnant girlfriend, driving down Sunset Boulevard to go to a couple of hangouts where all the action goes down.  I remember my friend talking to us about ecstasy and how it was so commonly used in his world (meaning the LA/entertainment world).  I said, "I've never used it and never would.  I have no desire to."  He shot back at me, "Oh, that'll all change when you move down here."  Both he and his girlfriend swore up and down that a life in LA would mean that I'd give up my morals and values simply to fit in.

I was in shock that these people, one who's known me since I was a little girl and who I thought understood me, would even suggest that I'd give in.  Just because they'd done so, did that mean I'd have to?  I think not!  That is one belief of mine that I can promise has never and will never waiver.

This brings me back to all of these celebrities (actors, singers, wanna-be-somebodies) dying of drug overdose, whether accidental or intentional.  I beg the question, can you have an "accidental" overdose?  Do we not all completely understand the consequences of putting these dangerous foreign substances into our bodies, right into our blood stream, in most cases mixing them with other lethal drugs?  While they may not intend to kill themselves, how can we claim it's an accident if they know the possibility of death is there?

And while we're on the subject, is it me, or do these types of overdose deaths seem to be occurring more frequently?  I remember vividly, back in the day, the untimely death of entertainers such as River Phoenix (1993) from a drug overdose outside the Viper Room on Sunset Blvd.  A few years later it was Dana Plato (May 1999), actress from the sitcom Different Strokes.

Now it seems to be happening way more frequently:  Anna Nicole Smith (February 2007), Heath Ledger (January 2008), Michael Jackson (July 2009), Adam Goldstein AKA DJ AM (August 2009), Brittany Murphy (December 2009), Corey Haim (March 2010).  Why are these people doing this to themselves?  And why do "we" tend to idolize them?

I pray that the next time you want a feel-good fix, instead of popping a pill or something potentially worse, ask yourself the question, "Do I want to die?"  Because if the answer is no, then don't do it.  Find someone to talk to: a friend, confidant, parent, therapist, or better yet, go get some exercise.  That's a natural high that will continually make you feel better, not just give you a false high that will send you crashing back down.

Life is for the living!  Stay strong and be healthy.

Monday, March 8, 2010

What's on your bucket list?


Do you have a bucket list?  It's one of those things you think about doing or maybe have even talked to a friend about but you probably never actually composed one.  Why make a bucket list?  You never know how long we have left to live our lives to the fullest.  A bucket list will help you visualize and manifest the things you'd like to do before you die.

I got the idea years ago and started my list but lost it somewhere along the way.  And each year I write a list of goals which contains some of the items on my bucket list.  Still, it's not the same thing.

Last year I was watching an episode of Oprah entitled "Step Out of Your Box" in which actress/comedienne Ali Wentworth challenged women to step outside their box by completing tasks that were the very things they feared.  She supported the women while simultaneously facing her own fears by participating in each challenge.   Some of those challenges included sky diving (on my to-do list), skinny dipping at the beach, becoming a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader (wearing the skimpy outfit and all) and doing the routine in front of thousands at the Texas State Fair, and joining a roller derby team.  Watching this take place invigorated me.

Recently MTV began airing a new reality show "The Buried Life: What do you want to do before you die?" about four 20-something Canadian guys who travel the globe in a tour bus while knocking off things on their "100 things to do before you die" list and inspiring and helping others to do the same.  This gave me an idea: write my own list and challenge myself to complete them.  Some have already been checked off and others have remained unattempted but all are dreams of mine in some way or another.  You'll see an underlying theme of fear of heights and water in many items on my list.  Others are simply dreams I've had since I was a little girl.

My bucket list:
  1. Visit my cousins in NYC (I haven't seen over in ten years)
  2. Sky dive
  3. Be in a recording studio while artist/band is recording (Ignacio Peña and Bletzung)
  4. Travel to Europe
  5. Go to Puerto Rico (I've been 4 times)
  6. Drive cross country
  7. See Canada
  8. Model for a photo shoot
  9. Help someone achieve one of their bucket list items
  10. Win the lotto
  11. Hit the road traveling with a rock band
  12. Write and publish a book
  13. Receive Associate's degrees
  14. Receive Bachelor's degrees
  15. Get my Master's degree
  16. Have a child
  17. Get married
  18. Ride in a glider
  19. Fall in love (I've been in love but I'm ready to fall all over again)
  20. See the Ellen DeGeneres Show and meet Ellen
  21. Meet the rock band The Fray (met 3 times)
  22. Visit Bermuda
  23. Be a mentor to someone
  24. Visit all 50 states (I've only been to 12)
  25. Hike in a rainforest
  26. Visit a major record label (Been to Universal Music in Santa Monica and Universal Music distribution in Miami Beach)
  27. Learn to play the guitar
  28. Hold a Grammy award in my hand (Done in 2005 in Miami)
  29. Lose 20 lbs. (Lost 23 lbs. in 2009)
  30. Learn to surf
  31. Ride in a KC-135 as it refuels a fighter jet
  32. Move to Los Angeles
  33. Compose lyrics to a song (Did as a little girl and co-wrote song with singer)
  34. See Graceland in Memphis
  35. Go to ACL (Austin City Limits)
  36. Go to Lollapalooza
  37. Interview musicians/artists at Billboard Music Awards
  38. See John Mayer perform live
  39. Get an article published in a magazine
  40. Learn to snowboard
  41. Interview Latin singer Luis Fonsi (published on web site PuroRock.com)
  42. Run naked on a beach
  43. Work at a radio station
  44. Ride on a zip line
  45. Meet Menudo / Ricky Martin
  46. Visit Costa Rica
  47. Learn to speak Italian
  48. Be on TV (LATV Live, Dr. Phil and Jimmy Kimmel Live)
  49. Participate in SXSW Music Conference
  50. Live by the beach (lived in Santa Monica for 3 years)
  51. Attend taping of TV show (LATV Live, Dr. Phil Show, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Geraldo, The Farm Club and The Price is Right)
  52. Take a dance class
  53. Meet Jon Secada
  54. Visit New York City
  55. Go on a Mediterranean cruise
  56. Visit a military base (Camp Pendleton in San Diego, California)
  57. Meet Diane Keaton
  58. Go backstage at a concert (Been inside Ricky Martin's tour bus and underneath stage and backstage of his tour in 1999)
  59. Work on a music video (Was a production assistant on The Donnas "Skintight" video)
  60. Publish a blog (You're reading it)
  61. Go horseback riding
  62. Throw a surprise party
  63. Meet Dr. Mehmet Oz
  64. Go to a Super Bowl
  65. Get a tattoo (got the Kanji symbol for Happiness, Hope, Love on my lower back)
  66. Learn to fly a plane
  67. Help someone build a house
  68. Pay for someone else's groceries
  69. Get my photo in a newspaper (San Jose Mercury News in 2005)
  70. Go on a blind date
  71. Meditate at an Ashram
  72. Go on a sailboat (Guatemala and Cancun, MX)
  73. Go snorkeling
  74. Go to Tikal in Guatemala
  75. Go to Mexico
  76. Swim with dolphins
  77. Run a marathon
  78. Swim under a waterfall
  79. Ride an ATV
  80. Ride a motocross dirt bike
  81. Go for a motorcycle ride
  82. Visit a volcano
  83. Ice skate
  84. Get pink streaks in my hair
  85. Walk across the Brooklyn Bridge
  86. Climb a pyramid or ancient ruins (passed up the opportunity in both Cancun and Guatemala)
  87. Buy a house
  88. Buy my own car
  89. Sit in on a live radio interview
  90. Take a yoga class
  91. Sit at a news desk
  92. Drive across a bridge (Golden Gate and Bay Bridge)
  93. Ride a Gondola in Venice
  94. Ride on a jet ski
  95. Swim in a lake
  96. Ride in a fighter jet
  97. Ride in a helicopter (Done in Kauai)
  98. Go on an African safari
  99. Indoor rock climbing
  100. Take a mud bath

In writing my list, I've discovered how much I've already completed.  WOW, that feels good.  I've lived a lot.  I feel lucky and privileged to be able to have accomplished so many goals I've dreamed up.  But I do want to complete as many of the items on my list as possible.

If you have something on your bucket list that you'd like to accomplish feel free to share it here.  I welcome you to "borrow" from my list as well.  And if you'd like to help me out to complete mine, thoughts, ideas, suggestions and/or monetary donations are welcome.  Click below to donate to the cause:


Thanks for all your support of my endeavors.  I wish you the best in yours.  Keep on keepin' on.

Muzik Girl

Monday, March 1, 2010

The Story of X

Yesterday I was happily deleting files off my computer, which I do now and again to make room for the new, when I hopped on Windows Live Messenger.  I hadn't signed on in months so this was quite unusual for me but out of shear curiosity, I signed in.  I continued away deleting files and programs when up popped a message from an unexpected source.  We'll call him "X".

I've known X since 2004.  He was the keyboard player in the band I was promoting throughout the states.  We were like two peas in a pod, on the road for a month and a half, always chatting and laughing and having a good time.  We walked from the apartment we were staying at in West Hollywood to Tower Records on Sunset Blvd., all the while telling stories and cracking ourselves up.  We often-times shared a room at some dumpy motel in the middle of nowhere as we drove through the desert to get from Los Angeles to our end destination:  DallasTexas.  X and I would spend nights talking about everything from past relationships to the perils of the music industry to our current passions and woes.  There wasn't anything we didn't tell each other.  Through our shared experiences on the road we bonded and would develop a lasting friendship.  Many thought there was something more than friendship between us but it never once leaned in that direction.  He was my best friend.

Our friendship continued (or should I say, "survived"?) through the breakup of the band, broken relationships, marriage and divorce, family turmoil, visits from me to his home across the country and an ocean, his visits to me in Los Angeles and much, much more.  But the last time I saw him is a day I knew something was about to change, and not for the better.

It was May of 2008, when X planned a spontaneous trip to LA to visit me for a few days.  The trip was really just an excuse to pick up some music equipment he had ordered through a friend at the Guitar Center in Hollywood.  His friend was providing him a steep discount which made the trip worth his while.

My plan was to hang out with X as much as possible, do some site seeing, go out to dinner and spend time with friends while still handling my daily responsibilities at work.  My friend in my apartment complex offered to pick X up from the airport while I was at my morning job and drop him off at the Guitar Center.  After I got off work from my afternoon job I would drive out to Hollywood to pick him and his equipment up and bring him back to my apartment in Santa Monica.  So off I went, with my roommate in tow, into the midst of rush hour traffic.  If you know anything about LA, you know that it can take you an hour to drive five miles.  I had to drive eight miles.  Needless to say, it took us over an hour but we finally arrived where I was greeted with a giant bear hug.  It was so nice to see X.

We spent the next few days cramming in as much activity as we could in between my jobs.  We had dinner with friends, went shopping, hung out at Universal City Walk and walked around Beverly Hills where we visited my friend Hasty Torres' chocolate shop, Madame Chocolat, which has been featured on such shows as "The Girls Next Door" and "Dr. Phil."  Hasty is an exceptional chocolatier trained by the world famous culinary chef and chocolatier Jacques Torres.  I had dinner with Hasty and Jacques once in Hollywood, the day that the episode of "The Girls Next Door" was filmed at Madame Chocolat which I'll share another time.  We managed to cram so much into the first few days which was great because I became seriously ill a couple of days in that I couldn't do much.  Everywhere we went I had to visit a bathroom every 20 minutes.  I wasn't eating but I was still sick to my stomach.  It was coming out both ends.  This was making it impossible to go anywhere or to enjoy myself.

Even though I was terribly sick, X was visiting and still wanted to do things and I didn't want to disappoint him.  I asked my friends to take him out and show him a good time.  They were good to him but he still pushed for me to come along.  I was getting more frustrated by the day because I felt as though he was being selfish.  I understood that he came a long way but what was I supposed to do, wear a diaper so I could paint the town with him?

I somehow managed to pull myself together on X's final night in town.  We made dinner reservations for us and three other friends at a high-end restaurant famous for its ribs, just up the street from my apartment.  X wanted to take us to dinner as a thank you.  I was feeling resentful but did my best to put those feelings (and my illness) aside so that we could enjoy our last few hours together before I had to take him to the airport.  We had some wine and I ordered the ribs but I really didn't consume much.  I just wasn't up for it.  We all had a great time laughing and eating (me watching them eat) and soon enough it was time to say goodbye.

In the days following X's departure, he called and asked me to pick up one last piece of equipment he had ordered that hadn't come into the store until he was already back home.  I had no time in between trying to take care of my health, my jobs and the other things I had going on.  It's not like in "LA-distance" the store was around the corner.  I was also furious because at this point he didn't even offer to reimburse me for the expenses.  X asked a friend of mine who wasn't working at the time and didn't live far from the Guitar Center to pick up the item and bring it over to me which thankfully he did.  I remember how angry I was the day I mailed the package to him.  The emotions had been brewing for at least a week and a half so it wouldn't be long before they erupted.  When he eventually called, it all came out like a volcano spewing ash.  I do believe that was the last time we spoke until just yesterday when his instant message flashed on my screen to my utter shock.  I'm not saying my behavior was appropriate or acceptable because it was neither.  I've learned a tremendous amount about myself since that time which is why I was so thrilled to see his name pop up on my screen.

We chatted online for an hour yesterday and much was said to heal the wounds of times past. We were very lucky to have found each other that day though I'm not sure I can call it luck.  Maybe divine intervention.  I had been thinking about X a lot, missing his friendship and wondering how he was doing.  Ironically, I had come across many of the photos we've taken over the years while I'd been sorting through the files on my computer.

And then there were his recent experiences.  X told me that the night before he had had a dream about me, that I was crying and he was there to wipe away my tears.  When he woke up he couldn't stop thinking about me all day.  He decided to sign onto Messenger which he said he hadn't done in months and there I was.  Hmmm... makes you wonder why things happen the way they do.  But who am I to question how God works?  I'm just grateful to have my friend back in my life.  And you know what?  It was exactly how it always was between us: natural.

This story is a prime example of forgiveness (for both of us) and gratitude.  I am forever grateful to understand the true meaning of forgiveness and the ability to let go.  Often times we waste so much of our energy being hurt or angry over something so minor that we miss out on valuable time with our loved ones.  What a spectacular lesson! 

Amazon Prime Day 2020 Coming Soon!

Amazon Prime Day 2020 is coming so you better get prepared. Prime Day is Amazon's biggest sale event of the year exclusive to Prime memb...