E-mail/Cell phone/Facebook etiquette - Where has it gone? Or should the question be, "Did we ever have it?"
On a daily basis I am reminded of how inconsiderate (or shall I say "ignorant"?) people can be since technology took over our lives: I'm driving down the road and get cut off by a man who doesn't even notice that I'm there because he's too busy chatting on his cell phone. I thought this became illegal in California
I'm sitting in a restaurant having lunch with a friend and I can't hear myself speak because the gal at the next table is chatting on her phone as if the person on the other end of the line is on the other side of the planet. Or worse, my friend's cell phone rings and he rudely picks it up mid-conversation with no regard for our time together. By answering his phone he's telling me that his phone call is more important than my time.
I call my friend on her cell phone but in the middle of ringing it goes to voicemail. Does she think I don't know that she "denied" me? Or does she not care that I know she denied me? At least have the decency to silence the phone and let it continue to ring as usual so I don't know you're blatantly ignoring my call.
I'm exhausted beyond belief and fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. At midnight my cell phone beeps, alerting me to a text message. It beeps again. I'm getting drunk texted (there's was a time when “drunk dialing” was the in thing) by people whose moods are so altered by the intoxication of alcohol that they don't care if I live a normal life and have to get up at 7:00 am. When did drunk texting become so popular anyway?
It's 6:00 am and I don't need to be up until 7:15. My dear friend insomnia visited me last night (and the night before and the night before that) so I am dead tired. My cell phone sings that familiar sound to alert me to a text message. But wait, here come four more. A friend decides that he needs to send out a 5 page text message that I believe should have come in the form of an e-mail (so it doesn't wake the sleeping dead). For those that are going to tell me to turn my cell phone off at night - I use my cell as my alarm clock. Besides, why should I have to turn it off?
E-mail etiquette is almost as bad. I e-mailed an old friend who happens to be a recruiter to ask him to keep an eye out for a position that might match my qualifications. He never acknowledges that he received it. Could he not write back and say, "Sorry, I have no positions that match your skill set but I'll keep an eye out for you" or "I'd love to help but I'm just not in a position to do so"? Something. Anything would have been nice. Nope, nothing. I write a work-related e-mail that actually requires a response but hear nothing back from the recipient. When did it become OK to ignore people in business?
Forwards/Spam are annoying. Most people don't like their inbox filled with junk mail. Unless it's super funny or important, don't forward crap. I rarely send out forwards but when I do they are targeted only toward the people whom I know will enjoy them, not to everyone in my address book.
Facebook has become a daily mode of communication for its millions of users around the world. I'm not knocking it as it's been a key tool for me to reconnect with long lost friends and family. I do not, however, understand the friend requests by people I've never met or people from high school that I neither called a friend nor ever even shared words with. And another thing... why add a person if you're never going to write them to say, "Hi, how are you?" Am I just another notch on your facebook bedpost? I get that we're all busy and we lead crazy, hectic lives. Maybe we don't have time to say hello or write an e-mail every week but do you not have a moment to comment on a friend's status update or type a quick "cute pic" under their photo? These people seem to have all the time in the world to play useless, time-wasting facebook games like Mafia Wars or send a Starbucks or boozemail, tend to a friend's virtual garden or hunt for Easter eggs. I wonder how many "friends" I'll lose after writing this blog.
By the way, if you talk to me on even a semi-regular basis then you know I'm not talking about you. No offense is intended here. I'm just trying to figure out why anyone would want to bother befriending someone just to have them in their friend list.
Rules for technology in 2009 (in case you missed etiquette class in childhood)
1. When someone calls you, return their call within a 48 hour period. At least acknowledge that the call came through with a text or e-mail. Same goes for an e-mail. Don't pretend you never received the call/email/text. It's just plain rude.
2. If you don't have a headset of some type, don't drive and talk on the phone. People can barely drive without the usual distractions. As for texting, it's not allowed while operating a motor vehicle.
3. When in a restaurant be courteous enough to keep the cell phone on silent or at least silence it when it starts to ring. Everyone doesn't need to know that you're so important because you're getting lots of phone calls. At the same time, unless it's urgent, don't answer it. And if you must, don't scream. There is this thing called sound that should be kept to a normal level. The person on the other end of the line can hear you just fine whether you're talking in your normal voice or yelling. I promise.
4. If you're shopping in the store and talking on the phone and you need to purchase something, put your call on hold or put the phone down so as not to be rude to the person assisting you. For the ladies: Same goes for trying on clothes in the fitting room. That little room is not soundproof so people can hear your entire conversation about that hot guy you locked eyes with across the bar last night.
5. If you must talk on the phone while in a public restroom, keep your voice down. There are other people in the bathroom that can hear your every word. Not to mention, I'm certain the person on the other end of the call can hear the piddle as it hits the water and the toilet flushing. P.S. Don't forget to wash your hands. Nobody wants to touch a dirty door handle after they've washed their owns hands.
6. If you are calling a different time zone keep that in mind when dialing the digits. It's not nice to call someone at odd ours of the night or early morning so be respectful. What's more annoying is when the person has dialed a wrong number at 6 am.
7. Before sending a text message think long and hard if it's really necessary. We are losing human contact out of laziness. It's so much easier to send a text and not have to spend the time or effort talking to someone. Unless it's something really minor, if you care then make the call.
8. When on a phone call, have the courtesy to focus on the person you are talking to and not type on the computer at the same time. Whomever you are speaking to can hear the clicking of the keys as you are typing away on something that is so obviously more important to you than your conversation.
9. If you write an e-mail/message use the spell check. Don't make it more difficult for the recipient of your message than it should be. He/She shouldn't have to guess at the message you are trying to relay. Sidebar: When sending message, double check to be certain you've copied the correct recipients. Nothing like receiving a note that was meant for someone else!
10. Recipients: To/CC/BC - If you decide it's important enough to pass along an e-mail, remove the recipient history so everyone and their brother's e-mail addresses aren't passed onto your entire address book. Along the same lines, instead of putting the e-mail addresses into the "To" section, blind copy them (you know, the "BC" line). This will also prevent viruses from spreading should someone's computer be attacked. Respect your friends and family's privacy by guarding their personal information.
Try to maintain etiquette when diving into technology. Now hurry up and respond to that message that's been waiting for you. The person who wrote it deserves it!
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