What's on your bucket list?

Do you have a bucket list?  It's one of those things you think about doing or maybe have even talked to a friend about but you probably never actually composed one.  Why make a bucket list?  You never know how long we have left to live our lives to the fullest.  A bucket list will help you visualize and manifest the things you'd like to do before you die.

I got the idea years ago and started my list but lost it somewhere along the way.  And each year I write a list of goals which contains some of the items on my bucket list.  Still, it's not the same thing.

Last year I was watching an episode of Oprah entitled "Step Out of Your Box" in which actress/comedienne Ali Wentworth challenged women to step outside their box by completing tasks that were the very things they feared.  She supported the women while simultaneously facing her own fears by participating in each challenge.   Some of those challenges included sky diving (on my to-do list), skinny dipping at the beach, becoming a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader (wearing the skimpy outfit and all) and doing the routine in front of thousands at the Texas State Fair, and joining a roller derby team.  Watching this take place invigorated me.

Recently MTV began airing a new reality show "The Buried Life: What do you want to do before you die?" about four 20-something Canadian guys who travel the globe in a tour bus while knocking off things on their "100 things to do before you die" list and inspiring and helping others to do the same.  This gave me an idea: write my own list and challenge myself to complete them.  Some have already been checked off and others have remained unattempted but all are dreams of mine in some way or another.  You'll see an underlying theme of fear of heights and water in many items on my list.  Others are simply dreams I've had since I was a little girl.

My bucket list:

1. Visit my cousins in NYC (I haven't seen over in ten years)
2. Sky dive
3. Be in a recording studio while artist/band is recording (Ignacio Peña and Bletzung)
4. Travel to Europe
5. Go to Puerto Rico (I've been 4 times)
6. Drive cross country
7. See Canada
8. Model for a photo shoot
9. Help someone achieve one of their bucket list items
10. Win the lotto
11. Hit the road traveling with a rock band
12. Write and publish a book
13. Receive Associate's degrees
14. Receive Bachelor's degrees
15. Get my Master's degree
16. Have a child
17. Get married
18. Ride in a glider
19. Fall in love (I've been in love but I'm ready to fall all over again)
20. See the Ellen DeGeneres Show and meet Ellen
21. Meet the rock band The Fray (met 3 times)
22. Visit Bermuda
23. Be a mentor to someone
24. Visit all 50 states (I've only been to 12)
25. Hike in a rainforest
26. Visit a major record label (Been to Universal Music in Santa Monica and Universal Music distribution in Miami Beach)
27. Learn to play the guitar
28. Hold a Grammy award in my hand (Done in 2005 in Miami)
29. Lose 20 lbs. (Lost 23 lbs. in 2009)
30. Learn to surf
31. Ride in a KC-135 as it refuels a fighter jet
32. Move to Los Angeles
33. Compose lyrics to a song (Did as a little girl and co-wrote song with singer)
34. See Graceland in Memphis
35. Go to ACL (Austin City Limits)
36. Go to Lollapalooza
37. Interview musicians/artists at Billboard Music Awards
38. See John Mayer perform live
39. Get an article published in a magazine
40. Learn to snowboard
41. Interview Latin singer Luis Fonsi (published on web site PuroRock.com)
42. Run naked on a beach
43. Work at a radio station
44. Ride on a zip line
45. Meet Menudo / Ricky Martin
46. Visit Costa Rica
47. Learn to speak Italian
48. Be on TV (LATV Live, Dr. Phil and Jimmy Kimmel Live)
49. Participate in SXSW Music Conference
50. Live by the beach (lived in Santa Monica for 3 years)
51. Attend taping of TV show (LATV Live, Dr. Phil Show, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Geraldo, The Farm Club and The Price is Right)
52. Take a dance class
53. Meet Jon Secada
54. Visit New York City
55. Go on a Mediterranean cruise
56. Visit a military base (Camp Pendleton in San Diego, California)
57. Meet Diane Keaton
58. Go backstage at a concert (Been inside Ricky Martin's tour bus and underneath stage and backstage of his tour in 1999)
59. Work on a music video (Was a production assistant on The Donnas "Skintight" video)
60. Publish a blog (You're reading it)
61. Go horseback riding
62. Throw a surprise party
63. Meet Dr. Mehmet Oz
64. Go to a Super Bowl
65. Get a tattoo (got the Kanji symbol for Happiness, Hope, Love on my lower back)
66. Learn to fly a plane
67. Help someone build a house
68. Pay for someone else's groceries
69. Get my photo in a newspaper (San Jose Mercury News in 2005)
70. Go on a blind date
71. Meditate at an Ashram
72. Go on a sailboat (Guatemala and Cancun, MX)
73. Go snorkeling
74. Go to Tikal in Guatemala
75. Go to Mexico
76. Swim with dolphins
77. Run a marathon
78. Swim under a waterfall
79. Ride an ATV
80. Ride a motocross dirt bike
81. Go for a motorcycle ride
82. Visit a volcano
83. Ice skate
84. Get pink streaks in my hair
85. Walk across the Brooklyn Bridge
86. Climb a pyramid or ancient ruins (passed up the opportunity in both Cancun and Guatemala)
87. Buy a house
88. Buy my own car
89. Sit in on a live radio interview
90. Take a yoga class
91. Sit at a news desk
92. Drive across a bridge (Golden Gate and Bay Bridge)
93. Ride a Gondola in Venice
94. Ride on a jet ski
95. Swim in a lake
96. Ride in a fighter jet
97. Ride in a helicopter (Done in Kauai)
98. Go on an African safari
99. Indoor rock climbing
100. Take a mud bath

In writing my list, I've discovered how much I've already completed.  WOW, that feels good.  I've lived a lot.  I feel lucky and privileged to be able to have accomplished so many goals I've dreamed up.  But I do want to complete as many of the items on my list as possible.

If you have something on your bucket list that you'd like to accomplish feel free to share it here.  I welcome you to "borrow" from my list as well.  And if you'd like to help me out to complete mine, thoughts, ideas, suggestions and/or monetary donations are welcome.  Click below to donate to the cause:

Thanks for all your support of my endeavors.  I wish you the best in yours.  Keep on keepin' on.

Muzik Girl

The Story of X

Yesterday I was happily deleting files off my computer, which I do now and again to make room for the new, when I hopped on Windows Live Messenger.  I hadn't signed on in months so this was quite unusual for me but out of shear curiosity, I signed in.  I continued away deleting files and programs when up popped a message from an unexpected source.  We'll call him "X".

I've known X since 2004.  He was the keyboard player in the band I was promoting throughout the states.  We were like two peas in a pod, on the road for a month and a half, always chatting and laughing and having a good time.  We walked from the apartment we were staying at in West Hollywood to Tower Records on Sunset Blvd., all the while telling stories and cracking ourselves up.  We often-times shared a room at some dumpy motel in the middle of nowhere as we drove through the desert to get from Los Angeles to our end destination:  Dallas, Texas.  X and I would spend nights talking about everything from past relationships to the perils of the music industry to our current passions and woes.  There wasn't anything we didn't tell each other.  Through our shared experiences on the road we bonded and would develop a lasting friendship.  Many thought there was something more than friendship between us but it never once leaned in that direction.  He was my best friend.

Our friendship continued (or should I say, "survived"?) through the breakup of the band, broken relationships, marriage and divorce, family turmoil, visits from me to his home across the country and an ocean, his visits to me in Los Angeles and much, much more.  But the last time I saw him is a day I knew something was about to change, and not for the better.

It was May of 2008, when X planned a spontaneous trip to LA to visit me for a few days.  The trip was really just an excuse to pick up some music equipment he had ordered through a friend at the Guitar Center in Hollywood.  His friend was providing him a steep discount which made the trip worth his while.

My plan was to hang out with X as much as possible, do some site seeing, go out to dinner and spend time with friends while still handling my daily responsibilities at work.  My friend in my apartment complex offered to pick X up from the airport while I was at my morning job and drop him off at the Guitar Center.  After I got off work from my afternoon job I would drive out to Hollywood to pick him and his equipment up and bring him back to my apartment in Santa Monica.  So off I went, with my roommate in tow, into the midst of rush hour traffic.  If you know anything about LA, you know that it can take you an hour to drive five miles.  I had to drive eight miles.  Needless to say, it took us over an hour but we finally arrived where I was greeted with a giant bear hug.  It was so nice to see X.

We spent the next few days cramming in as much activity as we could in between my jobs.  We had dinner with friends, went shopping, hung out at Universal City Walk and walked around Beverly Hills where we visited my friend Hasty Torres' chocolate shop, Madame Chocolat, which has been featured on such shows as "The Girls Next Door" and "Dr. Phil."  Hasty is an exceptional chocolatier trained by the world famous culinary chef and chocolatier Jacques Torres.  I had dinner with Hasty and Jacques once in Hollywood, the day that the episode of "The Girls Next Door" was filmed at Madame Chocolat which I'll share another time.  We managed to cram so much into the first few days which was great because I became seriously ill a couple of days in that I couldn't do much.  Everywhere we went I had to visit a bathroom every 20 minutes.  I wasn't eating but I was still sick to my stomach.  It was coming out both ends.  This was making it impossible to go anywhere or to enjoy myself.

Even though I was terribly sick, X was visiting and still wanted to do things and I didn't want to disappoint him.  I asked my friends to take him out and show him a good time.  They were good to him but he still pushed for me to come along.  I was getting more frustrated by the day because I felt as though he was being selfish.  I understood that he came a long way but what was I supposed to do, wear a diaper so I could paint the town with him?

I somehow managed to pull myself together on X's final night in town.  We made dinner reservations for us and three other friends at a high-end restaurant famous for its ribs, just up the street from my apartment.  X wanted to take us to dinner as a thank you.  I was feeling resentful but did my best to put those feelings (and my illness) aside so that we could enjoy our last few hours together before I had to take him to the airport.  We had some wine and I ordered the ribs but I really didn't consume much.  I just wasn't up for it.  We all had a great time laughing and eating (me watching them eat) and soon enough it was time to say goodbye.

In the days following X's departure, he called and asked me to pick up one last piece of equipment he had ordered that hadn't come into the store until he was already back home.  I had no time in between trying to take care of my health, my jobs and the other things I had going on.  It's not like in "LA-distance" the store was around the corner.  I was also furious because at this point he didn't even offer to reimburse me for the expenses.  X asked a friend of mine who wasn't working at the time and didn't live far from the Guitar Center to pick up the item and bring it over to me which thankfully he did.  I remember how angry I was the day I mailed the package to him.  The emotions had been brewing for at least a week and a half so it wouldn't be long before they erupted.  When he eventually called, it all came out like a volcano spewing ash.  I do believe that was the last time we spoke until just yesterday when his instant message flashed on my screen to my utter shock.  I'm not saying my behavior was appropriate or acceptable because it was neither.  I've learned a tremendous amount about myself since that time which is why I was so thrilled to see his name pop up on my screen.

We chatted online for an hour yesterday and much was said to heal the wounds of times past. We were very lucky to have found each other that day though I'm not sure I can call it luck.  Maybe divine intervention.  I had been thinking about X a lot, missing his friendship and wondering how he was doing.  Ironically, I had come across many of the photos we've taken over the years while I'd been sorting through the files on my computer.

And then there were his recent experiences.  X told me that the night before he had had a dream about me, that I was crying and he was there to wipe away my tears.  When he woke up he couldn't stop thinking about me all day.  He decided to sign onto Messenger which he said he hadn't done in months and there I was.  Hmmm... makes you wonder why things happen the way they do.  But who am I to question how God works?  I'm just grateful to have my friend back in my life.  And you know what?  It was exactly how it always was between us: natural.

This story is a prime example of forgiveness (for both of us) and gratitude.  I am forever grateful to understand the true meaning of forgiveness and the ability to let go.  Often times we waste so much of our energy being hurt or angry over something so minor that we miss out on valuable time with our loved ones.  What a spectacular lesson! 

The Great Planet Earth Debate

The Great Planet Earth Debate is an audio-visual presentation like nothing else I've ever seen.  It's an educational experience melded with music in order to present children with the opportunity to learn about Planet Earth in a 21st Century way.

Don't forget to check out the trailer.  If you're interested in getting involved or bringing the program into your school or educational system, feel free to contact me.

Makeover on my Blog

My blog was a little discombobulated.  I don't know what happened to all the html but everything was all out of order, stories became giant paragraphs and the whole site was looking ragged.  So I made a few changes.

What do you think of the new look?

Comments welcome!

Repost: A Message of Discovery & Hope

Dear Friends and Family:

It is a new time for us now as we sit in awe of the current federal deficit which seems only to be getting worse. The government would like you to believe that the economy is getting better and that by taking over the healthcare system, you will be better provided for in the future. No matter what you may think, I challenge you to do your own research. By this I mean really look into it. Don’t just assume you know the facts. Each political party provides you with the information they want for you to hear. If you are a conservative you are probably only consuming media from the right side, not allowing any other information to enter into your world. If you are a liberal, the same goes for the left side. I ask you to please open your mind and discover the wealth of information that abounds. There is so much to know, so many questions to be asked and answered and only you can do that for yourself. Please do NOT rely on the media or political parties to feed you information because most of it is bogus or tainted to encourage you to lean one way or the other.

I invite you to check out the website www.attentionallcitizens.org where you will find many videos that I promise you will make you think long and hard about what is happening in this country today. We have no one to blame but ourselves for not getting involved. Hopefully we can begin answering our own questions and coming together as a nation to resolve the issues that lie ahead of us.

If you get a chance, please check out this promotional short film for “Songs for the Fall of an Empire” by Ignacio Peña:

It’s 8 minutes of your life that won’t be wasted. Feel free to pass it on.

We can fix this. Meet me in the middle.

Comments on "Singer Turned Soldier"

I received a nasty and heartless comment on my blog regarding the story "Singer Turned Soldier" about singer Marcos Hernandez giving up his musical career and signing his life over to the Marines.  It's a comment I won't condone by approving it for publication, however, I do want to respond here.  Whoever anonymously commented and didn't have the balls enough to do so openly, you are a coward.  You may not agree with a person's choice to join the military, and you clearly don't agree with the actions our military has taken overseas, but that does not give you the right to wish detrimental events upon others.  Where is your heart?  Our men and women give up their lives everyday in order to protect YOU from the evils of the world.  How ungrateful can you be?

And to comment on someone's talent in such a harsh manner the way you did is pathetic.  Are you a record label exec?  A professional musician?  A&R?  What gives you the right to pass judgment?  We are each entitled to our opinion, especially about someone who placed themselves in the public eye, but let's keep it on a professional level.  You don't have to get dirty and comment on someone personally.  That's just cruel.  You must have zero self-worth.

And oh by the way, you might want to go back to school and educate yourself in grammar and syntax in the English language.  You were so quick to judge someone else but you might want to take a look at yourself.  Most of what you wrote made absolutely no sense.  You can't even write a complete sentence.  And if you don't like my blog, guess what?  Don't read it.  It's as simple as that.

Truly, Madly, Deeply,

Muzik Girl

How I lost 23 lbs I didn't know I had to lose...

In the last six months, I've been questioned from every angle as to how I've lost 23 pounds I hadn't even realized I'd gained until I really began looking at it from a health aspect.

For those that have been asking how I lost all the weight, I'm ready to tell all.  But before I do, here's a little insight into how I gained it in the first place.  If you don't know how you got there, you'll never know how to keep it off in the future.

It was October of 2007, following the break up an almost two-year relationship when I found myself nauseous for 10 days straight.  For several months I'd been unhappy.  I'd been downright depressed.  I'd been eating ice cream (a poor choice not just because it's fattening but also because I'm lactose intolerant) and chocolate candy, and blending the two: chocolate ice cream.  I was going out with my friends to the bar and drinking excessively.  Throughout the summer, in order to cope, I spent weekends at my apartment complex pool with my friends drinking margaritas and daiquiris and eating unhealthy finger foods.  This lousy behavior lead to my rock bottom.

I could barely get out of bed because the room wouldn't stop spinning.  I've always been that girl who has nausea so when it first started I didn't think anything of it.  But as the days went by and the nausea grew worse, to the point that I couldn't function, I knew something was very wrong.  I did everything I'd ever been taught in order to alleviate my symptoms.  I drank Sprite, ate saltine crackers, slept a lot, continued exercising and trying to eat a fairly healthy diet and I even got anti-nausea medication in the form of syrup from the pharmacy but nothing seemed to work.  I went to two different urgent care centers but none of the diagnoses seemed to fit me and the solutions didn't change a thing.  I had been in LA for a year and a half and still hadn't found myself a primary care physician.  The day my nausea got so bad, I called my friend sobbing and asked her to go to yet another urgent care with me to find out what was wrong because I couldn't stand it any longer.

When I was finished with work that day, off we went, traipsing from Santa Monica to Marina del Rey in the midst of rush hour traffic.  The moment I walked into the urgent care offices, I already felt relief.  The nurse started by running down a list of probing questions to which I responded matter-of-factly.  The final question: Could you be pregnant?  "Umm, NO!"  I told the nurse, "I've had my period.  I can't be pregnant," to which she immediately responded, "Just because you've had your period doesn't mean you can't be pregnant."  HELLO!  Where the hell have I been over the last 30 years of life?  Did I miss sex ed?  Apparently so.  At this point, I immediately flipped out.  I could not, would not be pregnant with his baby.  She handed me a cup and told me to pee in it so she could be certain I wasn't pregnant.

I was so scared.  I anxiously peed in the cup and handed it to the nurse.  Thank God she did the test right away and it was only a matter of minutes before I officially knew I was NOT pregnant.  Thank you dear Lord for that lesson learned.  You see, my relationship had ended poorly.  The guy had cheated on me and done some other horrible things so this is clearly someone I did not want to parent a child with under any circumstances.

The doctor came into the room and introduced himself.  He was not much older than me which made me uncomfortable, yet at the same time I knew I was in capable hands, someone who was up on the latest medical technology and treatments.  We talked about the possibility of pregnancy, what my lifestyle was like and how I got to this particular place.  He said it sounded like acid reflux but he wanted to run a full gamut of tests to be sure.  I also asked him, just to be on the safe side and rule out all possibilities, to test me for all STDs.  Scared as I was, I wanted to be certain that I didn't leave that relationship with a gift from my ex.

In the midst of our conversation and the doctor's questions, I filled him in on the relationship.  I was sitting in this exam room with a doctor whom I'd just met ten minutes before, with my friend, crying.  The doctor told me, "Don't cry.  Look at you, sitting in urgent care, wearing a West Coast Choppers sweatshirt, crying."  He certainly got a laugh out of me.  If you've been living on another planet and don't know, West Coast Choppers is a motorcycle manufacturer based in Long Beach, California which is owned by Sandra Bullock's husband, Jesse James, the host of the Discovery Channel's hit show "Monster Garage."  It's fair to say that it's an oxymoron to be crying in this "tough girl" sweatshirt.  I loved that this doctor had a sense of humor and knew how to make his patients laugh in a serious and tear-filled moment.  In that moment I knew I'd found my new primary doc.

That week the doctor sent me for blood and urine tests to determine the root of cause for my sickness.  All tests came back negative which was a welcomed relief.  All of the results for blood glucose, cholesterol, triglycerides, etc., came back normal so I was basically in a normal state of health except for this nausea.  The doctor determined that I had acid reflux and the beginnings of an ulcer (thanks to all the Advil I'd been taking along with the Lactaid pills consumed with the ice cream) and he prescribed me the medication Omeprazole (generic for Prilosec) and also urged me to immediately move to a bland diet.  That meant no more alcohol, salt, acidic foods like tomatoes (I'm Italian.  What am I going to do without sauce?), no coffee or chocolate (caffeine is a huge trigger of acid reflux) and no more carbonated drinks because the bubbles only increase the acid in my stomach.  My doctor also suggested going to Whole Foods and checking out its selection of natural remedies for acid reflux.  He was the type of physician who preferred to fight illness with food, herbs and vitamins.  I knew we'd get along.

So here I was depressed, sick beyond belief and feeling very alone.  I drove straight to Longs to get my prescription and picked up a Sees chocolate candy bar with almonds at the register.  I'd be taking my medicine and saying my final farewell to chocolate.
As the weeks wore on with no coffee or chocolate and with my new best friend: my medication, the acid reflux was beginning to get under control.  Once in a while I'd have a slip up and grab a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup or a cup of coffee but I tried my best to avoid the foods the doc recommended against.  I started noticing my weight gain when I'd look at photos of myself and I was definitely not happy with the way I looked. I wasn't weighing myself so I didn't know for sure but the spare tire around my waist, which was visible to anybody with eyes, was a huge clue.  I'd go back home to visit my family and the photos would haunt me and taunt me, telling me how "fat" I'd become.  I'm not trying to offend anyone by using the word "fat" but for me, a petite 5'3", this was fat.  My unhealthy lifestyle and weight gain was definitely a factor in my move back to San Jose but I didn't comprehend that until I was home for at least six months and able to fully absorb the effects of LA on my body, mind and spirit.
As I acclimated back into a suburban lifestyle, I began changing my ways.  At the same time I was going through my own metamorphosis, a new television show started airing, one I'd been waiting for for over a year: The Doctor Oz Show.  I'd watched him on Oprah since his first appearance and slowly picked up many of his suggestions but I never fully incorporated them into my life - until now.  Some people think I'm crazy for taking the advice of a man on TV but Dr. Oz is not just any man.  He is a real life heart surgeon who heads up the cardiovascular surgery department at New York-Presbyterian Hospital in New York City.  He is a well-rounded physician and knows exactly what he's talking about when it comes to anything regarding the human body.  So with his medical advice, I began changing my life.
These are the changes I made:

1. I began taking probiotics (Good Belly, the probiotic drink I take, contains a live active culture like most yogurts except Good Belly is dairy-free).  These good bacteria help aid your body in digestion by attacking the bad bacteria in your system which in turn, helps in strengthening the immune system.  Probiotics can also be taken in pill form but pills do not contain the live culture so it's not as beneficial.  Click on the link for more info on Good Belly.
2. I eat less meat (beef and chicken) and more fish including salmon, cod, catfish and roughy.
3. I eat more tofu and vegetarian meals.  I am not, by any means, a vegetarian or suggest that you become one.  But I do know that going back to a basic diet of non-processed/packaged foods is the best thing we can do for our bodies so I try my best to limit my meat intake.
4. I cut out white foods including white bread, flour, etc.  (I do cheat sometimes but I don't make it a habit of eating these types of foods).  I replaced white stuff with whole grains and oats.
5. I cut out sugars including sports drinks, juices, soda and candy (except on occasion).
6. I exercise 5-7 days per week (running 3 miles a day) and weights, crunches, lunges a few times a week.
7. I eat breakfast everyday (never skip breakfast, it's the most important meal of the day) which includes a bowl of Cheerios or oatmeal and a smoothie made of frozen berries (dark berries loaded with antioxidants like blueberries, blackberries and raspberries - you can find a large bag in the frozen food section at Costco), 1/2 banana, soy milk, and 1 scoop of ground flax seed (for extra fiber and Omega 3) plus I take a multi-vitamin, calcium citrate with Vitamin D and magnesium, and fish oil (pill form, also with Omega 3).
8. Snacks throughout the day that consist of fruits and vegetables, a handful of nuts or pretzels, or granola.  
9. No more alcohol except for the occasional glass of wine or a wine-filled night.  Even then, I only drink red wine because there's too much sugar in white.

I'm not going to lie and say that I don't cheat now and again.  It's OK to have a handful of chocolate once in a while or that piece of cake at your birthday party but if you don't do it everyday, chances are it won't affect you too terribly.  It's like anything else - moderation.  I do drink coffee again - one cup a day.  While caffeine causes acid in the stomach, I now have my acid reflux under control and the caffeine doesn't affect me the way that it used it.  And oh by the way, I quit taking my medication about six months ago!  I didn't want to be a slave to medicine for the rest of my life so through changing the things I had control over such as food, sleep, exercise, etc., I have been able to manage my own health and the results have been amazing.  In the process, the pounds have melted away, sometimes without even trying.

Before I say goodbye, I'd like to share with you some before and after and transition photos.  Living a healthy lifestyle really does work and here are the pictures to prove it.
Happy Living!

Before
4/2008

5/2008

12/2008

1/2009

Transition
6/2009

After
9/2009